My site of insight!

2011-01-16T22:52:00.000-08:00

You are the truth you know.

You are the love you feel.

You are the anger you control.

You are the pain you hide.

You are the joy you seek.

You are the past and the present.

You are the life you choose to ignore.

You are the broken heart you thought that wasn't.

You are the strength that you fear.

memorial art

2011-01-16T22:22:00.001-08:00

So I thought a tattoo in your memory will make me feel better...

Make me feel worthy of going through the pain for you...

I know its not even a percentage of the pain that you went through...

I know its not even close to what you felt...

Yeah it doesn't really make me feel better...

It doesn't contain the love and emotions I felt...

I don't think anything I do here will make me feel better...

I can only hope to have faith in life and love again...

2010-02-24T21:20:00.001-08:00

I dont know what to say.... I love you poo ... always will... u know that.

Moving on as a way of life

2010-02-18T04:34:00.000-08:00

Moving on from the baby steps we take to the first fall while riding a bike

Moving on from our first kiss to the first heartbreak

Moving on from the coca colas to the beer bottles

Moving on from good habits to bad ones and then back to the good ones

Moving on from a like to a love

Moving on from riding a bike to a second hand car

Moving on from jealousy to self-security

Moving on from almost pass marks to a second class in final year

Moving on from a bad relationship to knowing what we want finally

Moving on from one job to another and another till not knowing when to stop

Moving on from flirting to commitment

Moving on from disbelief to faith in religion

Moving on from life to death and back again...

Stray dogs

2010-01-21T22:30:00.000-08:00

What’s it like to sleep on the road, in a warm bask of sunlight?
Bathing in the morning yellow glow, wrapped up like in a warm blanket of sun rays.

I’ll never know.

Those stray dogs looked so content today.
They sure must’ve slept better than I did on my bed, with two blankets.

Bookmarks

2010-01-04T00:57:00.000-08:00

When we were young we designed bookmarks and collected the cool ones with funny sayings or unique designs. A bookmark had its own attitude.

But nowadays we've almost done away with them...

I've seen people use a restaurant bill, boarding pass, visiting cards, and my very own current bookmark-take away menu of an asian cuisine joint! :)

Ideas

2009-07-22T01:36:00.000-07:00

It is so simple to create an idea out of the abstract.

They possess details like a butterfly’s wings.

Perfection matching layers of skin examined under a microscope.

Beauty like that of a flower with morning dew.

During the formation no other form or object disturbs us.

We breathe and feel our little creation.

So chaste and untouched.

Excitement fills us from our heart and radiates to the rest of ourself.

And then comes along a fact or a friend who says, “oh that? Its already been done…”

Emotions cease to understand each other. Do I smile or freeze?

And alone one wonders if the same idea would’ve been different had I tried it out.

Or would it be a copy of what exists.

2009-07-21T03:43:00.000-07:00

Death. You may know when its coming. But you'll never be ready for it. Ever.

Our first battle

2009-06-05T06:44:00.000-07:00

I killed him. No wait, he killed me first. I killed him again and again and again. He smashed me. We didn’t stop. Frustration. Excitement. Fatigue.
He asked if we could just talk, now that we’ve damaged each other enough. He asked if we could relax. I asked him, do you want to talk about our dreary lives? About the work we do and how much we detest our monotony? About our dreams and our ambitions, which we hope take shape someday?
Your right he said, and continued to destroy me.

I laughed. Are you losing to a girl? He didn’t reply, patted my hand lovingly for a second, his eyes darted around and swung a blow.

We did it for 2 hours.

I won. But it was not easy. I felt bruised all over. We even altered our troupes so no lucky color would be a factor. I chose white twice and so did he. We got up and walked out of the café. Exhausted and refreshed. Tired and liberated.

I dunno how, but we always manage to re-invent our dates. But I’m sure the next time we play chess, it won’t be the same. The same hunger, sweat, blood and sweet intensity will always be reserved for the first time.

Travel discoveries

2009-05-15T03:38:00.000-07:00

Have you had questions in your head that went unanswered and eventually forgotten?

Its funny how this works, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one, but traveling, enlightens those unsolved mysteries.

I love traveling, not only because I want to de-stress and relax. But more importantly its because I love learning new things - new streets, new train stations, new airports, new culture, new names, new faces, new histories....the list is endless!

And in all this discovery, everytime, this surprises me, but everytime I come home a new person. I come home with a wiser approach to life, to people, to situations.
Its splendid and raw because its so simple, when I sense those layers dispersing like butterflies off my chest.

And when I look back at what bothered me, I find myself grinning and thinking it was so silly!

There are so many issues we have in our mind, so many judgements and queries that are burried and forgotten, but still impact our personality.
Its just wonderful that so many things I didnt know bother me, wash away everytime I travel!

I hope I keep rediscovering myself everytime! :)

I just wish I had more money so I could keep traveling! :P

25 things your forced to think 'randomly'

2009-03-05T05:51:00.000-08:00

Tagged by Equi

Ok..here goes the 25 things about me that I thought of now at work...

1. I hate cowards. Hate safe people and those who don’t have the guts to take a stand on anything.
2. I love babies, kids. Love their innocent happiness and simple thinking.
3. God every point begins with an I. Tragic. I’m creatively stunted. Let me try
4. Smell of wet mud after the rains. I like. (lol, I did it!)
5. I’m lazy when there is no work and super energetic and a workaholic when there is tons of work. I don’t know how to be in between.
6. I used to be very emotional, especially about relationships. I’m turning into a stronger person now. Learning to be a bitch.
7. Psychology comes naturally to me.I don’t need a text book. I understand behaviours and mechanisms people use without trying. This helps me forgive too. Damn.
8. I believe timing is everything.
9. I keep playing with my hair, and my mom whacks me for it.
10. I miss my sister, whose always busy with her studies etc… waiting to enjoy the months lost.
11. I love intelligence. It’s a turn on.
12. My daddy strongest. He is a saviour to all my crises. Midnight car break downs etc.
13. I believe in supporting special occasions of family & close friends.
14. I miss my granddad. But since he’s left us, I’ve cried so much. I don’t know what to feel anymore. But thinking of him a lot, tugs that patched up hole in my heart, and so I’ve stopped thinking or discussing him even when someone else tries.
15. I still want to make him proud.
16. Im tired of power plays at work
17. I love it when my hair smells good after a nice long shampoo bath.
18. I love it when my bf smells my hair, whether or not its washed. It somehow smells good to him all the time!
19. I’m reading the 3 mistakes of my life. And I like it. I even asked Ma to get khakra. Missed it.
20. I admire my mother’s strength.
21. I hate it when I get insecure about anything. I wait to bounce back.
22. I love bike rides. Love fast cars.
23. I sometimes wish I was a guy. Even dreamt of it.
24. Grandma’s cooking, her passion and her energy at her present age, wows me.
25. Ok last one…. Um….. I want to see the Curious case of Benjamin Button.

This Tag is for everyone! :) whoever wants to do it!

face value

2009-03-03T21:52:00.000-08:00

Its amazing how we learn to adapt to situations in life. But sometimes some repetitive situations still never fail to amaze us and freeze us.

Off late, I've learnt I need to look at things at face value. Not too deep, not too far. Just the right distance from your face.

That's the best way to deal with all kinds of people.... face value... till your sure you can take it further. Or else its still safe, from where you stand.

And the best part! I can now have fun without expecting or giving! :)

I understand your pissed. But I had every right to that drink.

2009-02-07T21:44:00.000-08:00

I understand your pissed. But I had every right to that drink.

Thankyou for being who you are, for I know not where I whither.
I need your firmness. However, this time I will not let myself go on the 'guilt-trip'.
For even though I can't lie to you, I can never admit how much I needed it.

Everyday there is plenty around me,including the smokes. All kinds.

After losing out on weekends, nights and days of frustration because of my pain-in-the-ass job, and resistance due to your keen sense of smell and observations, I decided I would be okay with a breezer and some polo.I even added coffee.

Alas, I failed the involuntary test.
And again we dissapointed each other.

For you - I'm too young.
For me - Your ever growing denial, that I'm still young.

Forgive them for they know not the evils that lurk around their child. They know not the value of my paltry 'sins' when measured against the torrents of the other children.

November 26th, Wednesday, Night 9:15 pm onwards....and it went on... for 60 hours

2008-12-03T22:03:00.000-08:00

Burning Taj Hotel

Mumbai, India, and the world were not prepared for this ghastly terror attack.
South Mumbai was attacked by 10 terrorists at the Taj Mahal Hotel, Oberoi,at Nariman point, and CST

What was shocking were the young boys who think they're 'jihadis' and really have no clue what they got into. I seiously believe people who have brainwashed them are the ones to blame. I dont blame these boys. Yes I do get angry at their "I dont regret" attitude. What is also shocking is the one terrorist captured alive, Kasav's revealation of events. Its kind of unreal and funny. I mean, havent we heard of the code of silence? When a mafia's gangster is caught, they would rather die than give away secrets of the organisation.
Either Kasav is misguiding the interrogators or he's being a hypocrite when he says he doesnt regret shooting random people.

KASAV at CST

Nearly 150 people died according to the papers/ media. Which means it will easily be about 300. That's how it always is. No one wants to highlight a big number.

I'm just shocked at the whole event. I couldnt sleep.

What was amazing is the calibre, and strength the terrorists possessed. To fight continuously for 3 days till the end. Its like they were in some sort of video game and kept going up onto the toughest levels. It really looked like these 20 yr olds had no clue what they've gotten into. I was also very angry with them. I cursed them like millions of people. But seriously, it was after the revealations that we understood the physical training they went through for months.

An NSG Commando ready

But of course, the men who saved India. Fighting and strategically moving into the terrorist occupied buildings --- The NSG, MARCO, ARMY, unarmed and khaki police officers. I think every rank possible was present. Except for the Navy :P, they were busy investigating, what went wrong at the water front!
Well whatever said and done. The army saved us. This was modern war in front of our eyes.The fact that the NSG personnel had to study the blueprint of the TAJ in a few hours to conquer the terrorists in 2 days, is extremely credible compared to the terrorists who possessed the building plan much earlier and trained well. Who knows they probably created a mini one at their camp! lol

I dont think India will forget this and move on. I dont want Mumbai to forget this and move on, nor should India move on! We need action, and we all need to be part of it.

I hope our government stops demanding NSG personnel for their Z+ security. If everyone is VVIP then we need more trained and armed personnel in the likes of the NSG.

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I'd like to dedicate this post to the brilliant Army and NSG personnel, the Late :ATS chief - Mr.Hemanth Karkare, encounter specialist Mr.Vijay Salaskar and Additional Commissioner of Police Mr.Ashok Kamte who lost their lives protecting and fighting for this country.

If I were a Boy

2008-11-13T22:13:00.000-08:00

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wated
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell evveryone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

(Chorus)

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

(Chorus)

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

------ Beyonce's "If I were a Boy"

This song has such meaningful words.... Her detail observation and mischievous way of expressing it really got me to be her fan all over again! :)

Ironic questions & thoughts

2008-10-30T00:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder how mechanical I can get.
Driving without thinking of the road.
Sometimes I've driven for a good 5 mins, and then asked myself, I hope it was the green signal! I just followed the other cars. Herd mentality! :P

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When I think of a prostitute, I think whatever the reason she is doing it, it must be so hard for her. How does she fall asleep at night?

"How does a prostitute sleep at night?"

"um... in a Y position?"

Tut tut.. so evil... Yeah
If only I was so simple! LOL

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What is bravery? (for a relationship/ moment)

Yelling and asserting something in the beginning of a disturbing relationship/moment.

Waiting for it to reach a peak and letting it all out.

Waiting and not altering anything.

Walking out.Away.Blocking ur ears

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Why is that I forget disturbing things of the past? Why is that when Im not talking to someone I forget the good times we shared? Forget the jokes and laughs? Why is my mind not letting me? What sort of defense mechanism is this?? When I dont want it!!

Have I no say?

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Books.

Inspiring, influencing.

Why do we fit ourselves into that powerful character and think yes thats me. Or I can see myself doing the same thing soon?

How is that all of us are so similar? We think we are unique. We are just bits of each other. Even in hatred we are alike.

Why cant religion bring this out?

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Why am I so hard on myself?

I dunno.

But I like it. I dont know how to not judge myself. How to forgive myself and live easy.Forgiveness can happen, eventually.

I feel useless then. I feel if I have no opinion about myself, then I cant judge someone else.

Sometimes, I wanna let go though.

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We are all scared of ourselves. Scared of the side that doesn't give in to control.

Those who aren't scared are spoiling themselves in pandora's box of sins.

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Why cant we write? without being judged....

2008-10-21T03:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel so alone....

Alone in making the right choice.

Alone in choosing the right person.

Alone in my sorrow.

Alone in my thoughts.

Alone in being cheated.

Alone in my plans.

Alone in the truth.

Alone in my sense of self.

Alone in judgements.

Alone in my tears.

And when they talk, I'd rather be alone, than follow.

Tag!

2008-10-13T03:20:00.000-07:00

I have been hit- EQUI's tagged me!

5 quirks/addictions

•Tomato Ketchup : Love the flavour! Usually have it with a lot of food items like pizza,noodles,toast & cheese, cutlets etc… :P
•Cell phone : Addicted to it, to chat! To press snooze when I’m supposed to get up!!
•Listening to Music/Radio while I bathe. Cant do otherwise!
•Playing with my hair, twirling and feeling strands of hair. Dunno why I do this. Mom keeps shouting, not to! :O lol
•Dressing up : I have to dress well. Dress smart.It doesn’t mean wearing makeup all the time, in fact I hardly wear makeup. But its like I wont be caught in a loose T shirt or pajamas even to the ‘food world’ near my house!

Anyone who wants to do this one can! :)

2008-10-03T02:03:00.000-07:00

Slow traffic
Random thoughts
Birds flying above me.

Getting all the green signals on my way to work and back!! :) (happened to me last Friday)
Music and songs stuck in my head,
Grins and smirks across our conversations
Audible not visible.

Impulsive buys and chaos,
Ecstasy for an hour and then panic!
Up the graph and zooming down to zero.

Secrets,and white lies
Giggles and love
Cuddle under my blanket, smiling at the eventful week.

Life cannot be programmed

2008-09-08T01:49:00.000-07:00

The other day when I was talking to a friend who was bothered about controlling things, I said something : "Life cannot be programmed."
I was surprised by my sudden profound statement, since I can be a control freak too!

But that line really hit me. It hit us both.

For eg: sometimes no matter how hard you try to get to a movie, you cant. You can go to 4 theatres on the same day, but if you are not meant to watch that movie that day, you wont. That's how things are... you probably can watch another movie, or hang out, but sometimes the forces are beyond your control.

Of course I dont mean that such issues as missing a desired movie is as important in life's scheme of things.
There are bigger issues, bigger decisions, that matter so much that you cant sleep at night. That keep you awake, because you are so busy planning what to say to this person, how to go about it etc... and then on that day, you discuss something totally different, things become weird, and out of your programme. Your mental picture, the scenario you created, and apprehended, are different and suddenly your expected to cope with the new situation.

I've been facing this and I realised that, if my goal is pure, if my reason is justified to me, if Im happy, then the new 'unapprehended'/'unprogrammed' situation cant be so bad! Because you dont need preparation for something you believe in,your voice and words carry conviction if you are truly convinced. Thus whatever the scenario is, the battle wont be so bad.

Whatever happens, whether you succeed or fail, you are content, because you did what you had to do. Even if it was for the that moment, period of time etc...

What you do can be right or wrong to others,but in the end, was it right to you when you actioned it? Thats all that counts, and gives you a peaceful sleep!

Curse of the Spider

2008-06-24T04:57:00.000-07:00

On sunday due to house cleaning, a massive giant tarantula-like spider was found on my bed. I tried killing it and it played dead for a while. Then I freaked out seeing its long legs moving slowly... screamed... daddy strongest arrived. Killed it.

I don't usually kill spiders cause they help me kill mosquitoes etc...and they hardly occupy space to make the place icky- unlike cockroaches- anyway... but I had to kill this one cause it wasnt moving from my bed! and i was really scared it'll get inside it and crawl on me at night!

And that's exactly what happened!

They next day I found another smaller on on the edge of my bed. No wonder I had a few itches here and there on my arms!

Today was another one! or the same one.. cause I didnt kill it... got lost somewhere when I tried..
And my elbow have tiny itchy spider bites!

SO I guess its the curse of the BIG spider who I killed and its family!

But I'm still not sorry. I'd rather suffer than have a giant spider on my bed!! eeee...

Respect

2008-06-11T03:32:00.000-07:00

Respect.

No other word to substitute it.

Seldom appreciated, respecting one’s space is so crucial. It’s the one thing that can break relationships. Love and trust can’t make up for respect.

Cause with respect comes the above two elements…

I believe that every time someone infringes your space, your area… by imposing their views, a radar does go off. Internally.
But we don’t always react.

I don’t. several times, I’ve let it pass.

This is wrong. I should’ve stopped it when it was crossing limits. Instead I have an outburst. Its like I run out patience and then BOOM!

After that I have zilch feelings for that person. I become cold and unaffected. There’s no good or bad feeling towards him or her.

That’s just me…

But I guess I should learn not to let it get to that stage in the first place!

Golden Kisses

2008-05-15T03:25:00.000-07:00

Its funny how the small things in life are missed in our daily ‘fast-forward’ lives.

The other day I got up early and planned to do some exercise at home. I was feeling too lazy to drive to the club and if I delayed, I’d be late for work.

So I finished walking around my block for a good 30 mins.

Then I went home and it was about 7:30 am and I started doing exercises and stretches etc… and then as I was lying down, the sun hit my eyes.

I turned to block the light, it was hitting my eye. I put my right palm against the light, it cut it from my vision. I was a little perturbed as I was enjoying my workout, and now this sunlight was disturbing the peace.

But it took just a few seconds for my mood to turn. And suddenly it struck me, I have not had the sun hitting my eyes in days!!!

Lying down on my carpet and feeling the early-sun kisses on my skin, I started smiling. You know the not-harsh sun rays that one sees around 7:30am.

Corporate world is so cut off from all this. I used to rush out for work and come back late for days, and the whole day we work in artificial lighting. This sunlight dancing on my arms was so strangely pleasing. I even noticed the tiny hairs on my hand looked golden.
And I haven’t seen that in such a looonnggg time!!

From a song....

2008-04-18T04:35:00.000-07:00

" A troubled dog doesn't move mountains,
he digs the ground you're on. "

Tagged!

2008-03-27T23:27:00.000-07:00

Ok here goes the tag that Equilibrium passed on to me!

Family- Secret Garden : This post was written when I was bugged that I had to hide my relationship with my boyfriend from my parents, unlike his! lol Well its been one and half years with him, and still its not so openly talked about and even though they know im not really 'reading' in my room at 10pm but on the phone with him, we all act like he's a good 'friend' hahaha

Friends- This post is purely on friendships and the person who I thought I had lost, is back in my life yay! she's too close to go...

Me - Well this blog is about me lol..but this one is how goofy I can be!

Love - Lol I think there are quite a few on this one.. hehehe here is one of my favourites.

Reading Minds - Hmm... this is tough. I dont think I've attempted reading minds, but I have analyzed behaviour!

Those who have time and creative juices arent flowing, pls do the tag :)

Decisions

2008-03-20T03:41:00.000-07:00

There are times in your life when you have to look objectively at situations, even if its very very personal. Times when there is no right or wrong, but just action. Like the famous quote by Lord Krishna, “Action is its own fruit.” When you cant get caught up in emotions and relations…..to accomplish the selfish goal.

The past week has been crazy mentally and emotionally for me, due to decisions on personal goals. I’m probably still not out of them yet, and in some sense, will never be. But the whole stress and nightmarish sleep and wondering which fits well in my life, in my future, trying to predict the future, trying to analyse my strengths and weaknesses, trying not to show my weaknesses to people…. God! Its one thing after another…

So then I asked myself, if I’m ready for a change. Which is more important,in terms of my career, now or the future? Its like an investment. We never think of buying and selling property in a few months, unless you have several ;) We invest to get returns over a long period. And that’s what I thought,let me focus on later, not on now.

This rationale comes only later though… your first instinct is the one I believe in. You know the feeling in your stomach, the gut feeling, when you just know this thing is really bad for you, or really good for you. Its also the vibe you get from the new people and new place/ environment you enter… It really counts for me and the decisions I’ve made so far on that feeling have turned out to be just perfect and gorgeous!! :)

I feel content. Even if there are hiccups on the way, I’m pretty sure, this is going to be good for me in the long run.

No one is to blame. Its my decision and when my heart and head agree, no regrets :)

And then came the rain....

2008-03-05T01:24:00.000-08:00

Expression in any form is beautiful, individual and unique. How we express ourselves, our energies, our laughter, our love, our fears, our desires ...... differs from one person to another.

There are times when I get frustrated with people who dont express what they feel, why they feel it, or when... they just cant, or they get it all wrong... and sparks fly and I get annoyed. Then there are those who hate confrontations and I cant take that! I mean if your not wrong, why fear? And if you aren't right, why fear again? Why not face it, and move on?? These things are common. I've been through my bad days too and confessing isnt easy always! Its tough. But at least I can sleep well at night, once its done.

Well the reason I started writing today, is cause off late I have been missing my passion. My outlets. And today I could express. I could be myself and I was appreciated.
I danced :)

In between all this maddness and compulsions, I hope I can perform again. I really miss it.. and it fell like it was raining on me and I smiled through the water drops.
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This is how I had started my day, till things went awry. I wont let anyone's opinions or judgements touch this place. Conventions and rubbish. So unfair. Just coz Im a woman.
Im publishing this cause I believe in finishing things once you start it. Esp when I wrote this all
smiling :)

Music and the heart

2008-02-18T03:38:00.000-08:00

I've just started learning the piano.I know its late, cause everyone starts off in their childhood years... but at least I'm doing it!*better late than never!*
Its once a week. And my teacher is a dentist! so cool huh... diff professions but we connect due to music...

Its difficult to express what I wanna say in this post...
But I hope I get this right..

The chords strike slow,
sharp at times and low.
My fingers flow.
And something triggers a tear.
A certain set of keys releases emotions.
It soothes me...
I play it
again and again
and again.
Silence
and the balm.

New life

2008-02-10T22:59:00.000-08:00

So many changes.
Different faces.
New people.

A new phase.

I'm squashed, new info flowing in every second.

Freedom and liberty.
Discarding relationships, everyone is their first name.

Man I'm getting used to it!
My first job!

another one heheheh....

2007-12-08T05:07:00.000-08:00

You're Part Diva

You know that a girl's gotta work it to get her way in the world.
And while you aren't about to throw a tantrum at every turn...
You do amp up the drama when you know you need it.
You mix charm, honesty, and kindness to get ahead.

Are You a Diva?

blogthing!

2007-12-08T04:52:00.001-08:00

You Are a Gingerbread House

A little spicy and a little sweet, anyone would like to be lost in the woods with you.

What Holiday Food Are You?

Ode to my grandfather

2007-09-16T00:13:00.000-07:00

I dont know if you were ready or weren't.
I dont think you nor us could ever have prepared ourselves for this.

I hope you are happy dadu.
Happy where you are.
Happy with those people who filled your youth and old age with joy.

I was in shock, then grief, and now Im passing in between these two phases.

But I'll be fine. I'll be happy to know you are happy.
Thats all that matters.

May your soul be at peace.
You are always in my heart.
I hope I made you proud and happy.

Yours always -

Ro.

In loving memory of my grandfather, who passed away on 14th September, 2007

Your life is an inspiration for us to be brave, ambitious, joyous and loving.
Your ever-giving and open heart that was ready to help anyone will always be remembered and we hope to follow your footsteps.
You touched the lives of many and was loved by many many people across the country and the world.
Dadu, you left us on a festival day, a friday,and it was so quick and even though u suffered it was shorter than most people who suffer for months and years. These facts show that you were a great person who did good karma.You were so good and so kind.
Thankyou for everything.
Thankyou for teaching us so many things.
I love you. Im so proud u were my grandfather.
We love you.
We were blessed to have you among us.

The oddity of being me

2007-09-13T00:36:00.000-07:00

Its my weakness. Its my pride.
Its everything. Its nothing.
It never ends. It ceases when challenged.
Its big. Its small.
Its my asset. Its my fault.
Its my hope. Its my misery.
It fools me. I fool it.
Its a paradox.
Its love. Or is it?

Magic :)

2007-09-01T12:27:00.000-07:00

(To poo, wrote it long back.)

I looked up at the night sky.
I saw the stars.
I saw your smile.
I saw the moon.
I remembered your eyes.
I looked around the silent night.

Alone but with you.
Asleep but awake in you.

I never want to let go of this magic.
I'm holding this ball of fire.
Carressing it between my palms
Gently touching it and feeling its warmth.

Its glowing next to my cheek.
I smile.
I'm hugging it.
This dynamic living breathing thing, so beautiful;
oblivious to everything tangible or intangible.

I throw it up.
It shatters the dark sky into golden stars.
Spreading above me.
I laugh as I stretch my hands out.

Gold dust around me,
feeling the essence of my creation.

How long will they light my sky?
Only time will tell, my love.

Nothing complicated about it!

2007-08-29T07:49:00.000-07:00

Life is simple...

I wish it was always that easy to bracket things as 'easy'... lol

However recently I was facing alot of stress and problems in dealing with people and situations etc...but I learned from dear ones and myself... that letting go is the key to looking at every situation as a simple problem...

Its not that I dont care... I'm learning not to care toooo much! :P I

The Beautiful Irony

2007-05-28T00:18:00.000-07:00

Due to the water shortage in Bangalore, esp in my locality.. we've been trying to economise our water usage. We now pump water from our well for non-edible purposes. Quite alot of work if one has to do it daily... but we are all used to it by now. We've been doing it for nearly 2-3 months now...

So the other day when it we had a downpour in Bangalore for nearly 2 hours, all over the city.
I couldnt help thinking :

"What alot of water is going waste!"

Then I caught myself horrified!!

I LOVE THE RAINS! ADORE IT.. ITS THE MOST ROMANTIC ELEMENT OF NATURE!

And look at me... worried about even enjoying it. But thats what its come to!

BUT!this was when the downpour occurred, when I was travelling by car.

The day before that...when I was at home.. and it just rained.. moderately ...

I saw the most beautiful sight... :)

Colours of the rain

Green... greeen... lush greens... wet.. shining... singing... whistling... swaying.

My neem tree swayed and her large hairdo was ruffled and shaken..
My christmas tree stood as tall as possible.. but shook a bit.. (I giggled as I personified them)

My maroon car stood wet and shiny... brand new.. looking happy.
Yes I felt their happiness too.

The road ... dark, silver, greyish, black...

I felt dreamy... felt good.. Felt the wind.
The chill

The pleasant chill.

Romance.

The water sprayed at me through the window.

I smiled. Kept smiling.

Zero

2007-05-25T04:21:00.000-07:00

Dynamic lives.
Mine.
His.
Theirs.

Back to where it all started.

Walls cant be built anymore,
but emotions can.

Ground zero- no expectations.

I had learnt not to have any.
I had thought that was for loose times... thin strings..
Not thick and strong ones...
Boy was I dreaming?

I thought we had passed the ground level.... passed ground zero.

Now its back again.... zero...zero...zero....zero

Zero expectations.

There are very few people in this world who do things for people. I dunno why I was born in that category. I should be self-centered again.

Rewind.

Bitter Bites

2007-05-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

Surprise..

But it wasn’t that shocking… déjà vu

As I dug my teeth into the bitter moment…..

I thought…is there no logic and no reason,

for this bitterness to exist?

Mistakes.. done to me

Even I make them.

I know I’ll move past it… but it takes a while..

Sometimes its weird that I wish people see things

the way I do.

React like me.. feel like me…especially those close to me..

Be sensitive towards me.. like I would towards them.

But then that’s not possible.. cause everyone is not you.

Why does everything taste so bitter. I didn’t want such a huge bite.

Take it away from my face..

I need water

No Kidding around.....

2007-04-28T23:02:00.000-07:00

I just realised.. now that Im outta college and everything...

I'M NOT READY TO GROW UP!!!

No !!!

I wanna stay a kid.. well kid in college.. not a kid in the big BAD world! :(

I know I sound like a chicken.

WELL I FEEL LIKE ONE!

:(

Work.. is understandable... but planning where I am gonna be 5 years from now.. is scaring me!!!

:(

Secret garden

2007-04-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

(to them.. who gave me life)

Hiding.

Lies I have to tell you.

My secret garden.

How safe and unfraid.

How far away from you.

I’ve left you in the dark.

You made me do this.

Made me hide.

Im hiding my joy.

Hiding my hopes,dreams,castles in the air.

Away from your ‘fears’ and ‘love’

Away from your consciousness.

Away.

Hiding.

Because I’ll never know any other way.

Hiding… yet I want to share…

Maybe one day you will let me.

Please stop me from hiding.

BIRHTDAY REMINISCES

2007-03-10T12:00:00.000-08:00

Especially to my family who made it a memorable one...

I’ve been wanting to blog about my birthday, but somehow words don’t fit the emotions I experienced. The love I received in terms of the wishes, the gifts , the smiles and the hugs is unexplainable.

The love I felt this 20^th birthday was something I never expected. I’ve never been the type who plans her bday and party etc months ahead (my own sister does that lol.. ), somehow I never felt like planning. This time , I had planned, but the people on my list kept changing, and finally chose few of those who’ve been by my side, who’ve been a friend, and most importantly people I like :)

Irrespective of my friends changing, friends from my past somehow have a soft corner in my heart, and I decided to break the barriers and let me indulge in their company again.. like old times.. and tho playing a host gave me very little time with everyone, I was glad to see everyone enjoying and bonding! Gave me smiles too. Unfortunately the pics I took were last min and blurry… I forgot about camera till everyone got ready to leave!!

I cant describe the best gift cause a lot of them have very special and warm sentiments attached…

But one of them really got me crying was from my sis, Ishu and my family too.. tho I think primarily it was my lil sweetie’s idea.. they got me calendar with my childhood photos, when I was a baby and as I grew older…with each member of my family… was really sweet. Something I didn’t expect!! *sniff*

I got a real special perfume, from a really special someone *hugs* … cause that someone knew how I used to go to the mall and spray testers and sigh and rave and rant about Elizabeth Arden and when a ‘dream’ like that comes true, u dunno what to say. Esp when u with that person, and ur being asked to take it at the perfume store. I was speechless. Not used to dreams like that coming true… end up buying for someone else always.. pampering myself is tough!

Surprisingly three of my friends took up a similar idea as my sis, and gave me collage of photos with memorable moments. *sweet*

One of my friends, flew down from another city, just for my birthday! *------------* cant describe the emotions--- shock,awe,gratitude etc..etc! I mean she came down just for me :) its something I’ll never forget, for the rest of my life !

I got books,shoes,clothes, and perfumes too… everything was sweet and anything I got made me happy cause I didn’t expect like proper gifts, knowing how broke we all get esp when it comes to buying gifts ;p

Well I had the birthday blues after that, maybe it was various things, but mostly I think I didn’t have enough of the special day :( lol… in a way its right to have one day when ur treated like a queen and in a way its not! But anything in excess would cause monotony and boredom.. so I shall let it be.. and smile when I think of my 20^th bday :)

By the way,my 18^th bday sucked-shattered the hype of the ‘grand’18 bday, and 19^th wasn anything extraordinary…

This bday made me re-discover the joy in birthdays and gave me a lot moments to savor and reminisce… and my family really played a huge role in organizing and making it a successful and memorable day :)

As I grow older , I realise the value of home, family, relationships –good,bad,ugly, and that thing called….love!

2007-03-03T22:54:00.000-08:00

"Men spend their lives in anticipations,--in determining to be vastly happy at some period when they have time. But the present time has one advantage over every other--it is our own. Past opportunities are gone, future have not come. We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer the tasting of them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age."

Charles Caleb Colton

When I read this quote I realised I've done it too... we should be happy NOW and live today for today ! :)

Losing People (to the friends I thought I had, especially one)

2007-02-03T23:58:00.000-08:00

I never thought that I could let myself lose friends easily. I hold onto every memory. Every conversation, argument and giggles and tears.

I cant let go easily because I thought that person cared too. Its tough. But I cant compromise on the truth, my self-respect, their stupidity and immaturity and my principles.

When time passes by us during a fight and moments of harsh venom filled words are exchanged, time really stands still. At that point u want to tell yourself that this isn’t real and tomorrow she’ll call u again and laugh about this. But the truth is she wont. Nor will I.

Since the past 3 years I’ve lost ‘’friends’’ who I was close to. Girls who shared my secrets and I shared theirs. It takes years to build love and respect. How can a few misunderstandings and fights erase everything. But the fact is, it does.

Those close to me have comforted me and some of their words made a lot of sense –

“People come into our lives for a particular time. When they leave its their time to leave. No matter what u do, u can never bring them back. No matter how hard u try.”

“Those who don’t stick by you, are just not worth it.”

I was listening to Nelly Furtado’s ‘why do all good things come to an end?’ and felt sad for a while. But then I realised something today in the shower. Where I felt the water trickling through me… around me , over me, healing me.. and like most of us, I felt comfort there.

I realised that if it really was a good thing… it would never end. Never…

2006-12-20T07:30:00.000-08:00

Sometime back I used to wonder what is it like to be content?

We can never be content. We can never be satisfied. But I feel the satiated state can be achieved by a little self-analysis and self-observation.

What are we constantly chasing?

Who are we constantly pleasing?

Well I cant not chase or please… its natural… but I think happiness begins when we start accepting our failures, our stupidity, our shortcomings.

I cant say I’m content. But yeah…Im happy with the way things are… for now…

I know what it feels like to love and be loved.

My family is intrusive but caring lol and

I’m slowly realizing the value and non-value of friendships.

Sometimes I frown and wonder… what!? No worry? Why??!!!

Like in Roald Dahl’s book “ The problem is, there is no problem.”

Heheh.. Im really like that… so I’ve learnt to take things slowly and as they come. Enjoy the sad and bad moments. Cherish the giggles and silly conversations. And live in the good ones :)

Being content and satisfied may last only a day or two or maybe more…I guess it really depends on you…

Tasting freedom

2006-12-16T05:33:00.000-08:00

I’m sooooo haaappppyyyy exams over!!!!! Yeh!! Finally

For the past 2 weeks, I’d really forgotten what it was like to be free, relaxed, chill, etc…and the other synonyms for “no tension” which I felt the whole semester. Hehehe..

But its true… after u’ve lost sleep, put in last minute sweat and walked around like a zombie… U deserve a break… and so now its settling in.. slowly..the taste of freedom!

Aaahh… gently… slowly.. creeping up my legs… my waist…my hands… my face.. relaxed…… and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

…..wanna sleep ;)

This time Its Really different!!!

2006-12-02T12:28:00.000-08:00

Dedicated to AK

So close to you. I bare it all open.

The wounds, the scars, the flaws,
the love, the peace-- all open to you
and you'll still care and
accept me for who I am.

'shameless' with you.
impulsive and wild.

I don't have to impress you.
That's why I don't lie to you
I don't need to.
You'll always be by my side.

That's what makes us special,
& I mean it when I say, "This time its really different."

letting loose...

2006-11-08T06:49:00.000-08:00

Gosh!! its been ages since I blogged... feeling pretty bad about it. Dunno what to post, when to post... etc... feeling bad cause havent visited other blogs and my old blog pals... sigh.. hope they're still around.. will try visiting soon!

I've been so stumped with work, college, and 'socialising'

Just thought I'll write an 'unmeaningful' post for a change cause I just wanna!!

Just wanna let looseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

MASKED!!

2006-09-22T04:27:00.000-07:00

I was doing a psychology project on 'personality' and went through many pics..masks... here are a few.. i love them.. fascinated :)

What Superhero are u?

2006-09-07T05:57:00.000-07:00

You Are Elektra

There's really no superhero with more style than you.Because who could beat being sexy assasin ninja?

What Superhero Are You?

LiAr LiAr PANTS on FIRE!

2006-09-07T05:18:00.000-07:00

I don’t understand why people lie. I don’t understand the need to lie.

I mean I’m trying to understand and I have come to a few conclusions, but still there’s just one word that rings in my head- WHY??

Why lie? Most people lie because of insecurity issues. And this is usually termed as ‘issues’ by friends and peers. No one knows what this vague issue is.
“yeah he’s got issues…”What issues? Why does he have issues? So then I analysed a friend of mine. He constantly lies. Its an open joke. We all know he fibs, and he laughs it off. But I keep telling him its not funny. It’s a serious problem. A major flaw in his personality. He gets kicks out of lying and fooling around with me when he sees how shocked and irritated I get when I see the truth.

Its not just him. I know a lot of guys who lie. I know girls too. In fact I never know whose telling the truth anymore..lol. Its seriously a problem!

People lie when they cheat on their boyfriends/girlfriends. Now that’s wrong but logical.
But why lie to friends? Lies to show off – insecurity. Lies to cover up- insecurity. Lies cause your ashamed of yourself- insecurity.
I hate it. Why cant people accept themselves for who they are and what they’re made of?

LOVE YOURSELF!!! Be who you are!

There have been times when I have lied too. White lies …like lie to a friend who I wanna avoid and say I’m going out with my family..lol or stiff like that.

I’ve had insecurity issues as well.When they were big, I solved it and tried hard to love myself again. But I didn’t lie. Not once did I let my self-respect go.
I have minor issues now too.

Like I have an ego problem. I do.. with the smallest things. Just today I experienced it. In fact 2 days in a row, over money problems with the auto driver. And I told myself let go. I was seething with rage. Yestreday I yelled. Because he was at fault. Today I didn’t because none of us were at fault but he was being really nasty and rude and seemed like he wanted to fight.
I cant take any kind of silly dominance and all that bullshit. The auto drivers arent always that bad. But these two!! Im getting angry thinking of them

Anyway… that’s my story.. and I really hope people will stop lying to one another. See when people meet me. They meet the real me. The person I am. I take time to open up. But I don’t have layers. I trust people. That’s a problem. But I dunno any other way.

I really don’t.

I wish I could make everyone see how life would be easier if they stopped lying and started trusting one another. Started being professional in their careers. Started looking at things objectively when needed. Sigh…I only hope you guys got my message at least! Im not trying to say stop lying.But don’t do it unnecessarily. Its really not cool.Its Immature and stupid.

Clueless

2006-08-24T03:45:00.000-07:00

Where am I headed?
It's like I dont care ,but still I do.
I want to. But then again...what do I really want?
Who do I really need?

I talk to people.
People talk to me.
What do we need?
What do we want?

Everything is so ...blah...

Nothingness.

How do I define happiness?
Are they fleeting moments that one has
to catch...
Before they pass you by....

Didnt wanna leave kerala :(

2006-06-13T04:16:00.000-07:00

Recently I went to Kovalam (kerala) with my mom,dad, and sis... a short 3 day trip.
We stayed at Taj Green Cove Resort. A sexy place...check it out (when financially comfortable;p)
I loved it. we were so pampered...well its the Taj. They have a private beach. Tho we discovered the Leela Hotel -next door neighbour - was on a cliff right on the sea. Beautiful..wanna go back there someday. lOl

I've been waiting to get away...anywhere...n finally it was kerala. Our desination. Yep...God's own country.

I wish i could take pics in the plane cause when the plane tilted to kind of dive in, the sky and sea merged and suddenly it was all blue. I was like..shit where r we?? n then saw the coconut trees...and the excitement began!!:)

No cell phone!! no vibrations in my jeans pocket and no one calling me! YEH! it was bliss..tho i missed my frens n wished they were there with me to share my joy :)
p.s. messged once from mom's phone..tee hee...but still! i felt so free!

I've taken such a long break from blogging....but i always took pics...n thought..hm..wanna post this pic...tho i cant put up all the pics ( about 100- happens with a dig cam hehheh;typical tourist i agree...lol) here r a fw of my fav.

The famous backwaters of kerala! It was one pleasant evening boatride...but it was enough to last an impression in our minds. Im crazy about beautiful skies..fascinates me..

At the private beach...on the hammock...thats me:) oh man...i dint wanna leave :( that's the lagoon behind me.

the cool breeze and sea water spraying mildly on my cheeks... ah...almost paradise. almost,cause i may discover a better place...in the future;p

backwaters again....

I was so impressed with the ROADS in Tiruvanthapuram! man..they were so smooth... we kept comparing bangalore..lol...no need to say more...

The city wasn't stagnated with traffic jams, cabs had awesome stereo systems :), roads were like highways or laid the previous day, people were proud of their culture -showed when we mixed around and visited the museum.

You can sleep on the floors of the airport or relax on their huge black leather sofas.

Then when i reached Bangalore...I really wanted to cry!!! This is my hometown n i love it. But it has deteriorated so much!!!I think it starts with the ppl. Prob is no one co-operates here.

Hm...maybe kerala's secret is its high literacy rate :) whatver it is..i wanna go back there soon!!

2 souls meet

2006-05-17T13:54:00.000-07:00

Is her soul half or full
Is his half or full

2,but feel like 1
or is it unreal
or is it real

Unanswered

2 souls in search for
perfection,beauty,truth

Thirtst or hunger
It doesnt matter.

2 souls together

Can they become one
Should they become one

Moment:)

2006-04-24T23:03:00.000-07:00

CHEESE:)

Me happy I think…
I dunno…it happens when u love ur pals and spend a full day with them…buying time and extending it hoping it never ends…without work,studies or boys lol.

*People who know me, know that I’m smiling most of the time. (sometimes just duh!) hehe
So this aint a post about my smile or why I’m smiling so broadly(that pic is with one o my close fren babs..and maybe that’s why I’m so happy..hehe but sorry had to crop it:p)
Actually dunno y im posting this..but sometimes u just want to write!*

So…..on Saturday I went out with my girls!!!!!!!!My best frens Spu and Nivi:):):):)

For ICE AGE2!-damn cute…no complains
And lunch at KFC and then ice cream..well I was the only one who ate lol.Corner House rockz…if anyone has access to CH get their dark chocolate and walnut scoop for 25 bucks…awesome eh?
Then Barista…where both of em drank flavoured ice..lol that’s how they make their drinks…frozzzzen!ahem…where a funny thing happened…
I was really thirsty and took out the mountain dew bottle from spu’s bag admist our chatter about how annoying boys can be…
When an instant later my mouth is half open and still dry and I’m staring at an orange and black clad waiter who says “I’m sorry maam but your displaying the wrong brand at the right place.”
I’m sorry wha??
So I’m still staring…confused and spu’s blank and nivi is grinning I think.
I thought display…u know like my pants were low or something…and almost gulped cause these were low :p
And he says “even kinley isn’t allowed…” And spu goes “its water…”
“Yes maam but my manager just told me to tell you…”
I was still thirsty “ Um…can I just have a quick sip?!”
“yes..just hurry.”

JEEZ! And after that 3 of us couldn’t stop laughing…like giggling immature kids…
Dunno why..we kept replaying the whole scene! Like how 3 of us were shocked..how I thought he was talking about my pants and how spu tried to cover up with “its water!!”
Hahahha… uncontrollable laughter that can happen only when 3 gals(or more)…get together…lol…and esp 3 cute gals;) hehe

Oh there’s more to the day…our silly antics(like how my car got stuck and the cop kept yelling and abusing in Kannada..and how I hadn’t carried my license and nivi was shit scared and spu was abusing back…but luckily didn’t get caught….and how we all tried out one sexy top at LACOSTE..lol )
but this one “moment” was too funny..and thinking about it still makes me smile like the pic..lol:)

2006-04-17T23:24:00.000-07:00

Racing mind...........
calm exterior,
open skies.

Guilty.
Feelings.
Confusion,
open road.

Rain.
Havoc,
Indescribable hollow.
Mystery

Help............

I posted! to all my blog frens out there...thanks for keeping a check on me:) heheh..I'm good..and I dont feel as blah..as this poem..tho...I had written it a few days back..right now I'm all smiles:)

25 questions…I answered cause …well…nothing good on tv:p

2006-04-09T06:13:00.000-07:00

After a loonggggg Break...I'm back with a TAG!!! hehehe...awesome...lol;p

I was tagged by Manhar

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.

“…past half year,I’m not sure how they’d act. Anyway I can get my cellphone.They know the number.Maybe they called

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.

Hm...I touch the calender on the soft board...lol...

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Some kids show on toon disney channel..with sis;p

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?

around 6 pm

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?

lol..its 5 mins to 6...

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

amazing...I just heard a bird! and the constant hum..of the fan

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

This afternoon..went out with dad.Thank god I took his camera...he went on a site tour...so i was clicking weird pics;p

8.Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

eh? my mail??

9. What are you wearing?

A T shirt and shorts

10. Did you dream last night?

Nope! yeh!! hate it when i dunno what they mean..lol

11. When did you last laugh?

Um...in the afternoon ..while watching tv...no clue why..don remember... hahahah

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

There's cream colour paint on all the walls..and a big golden clock and a photoframe of the fall season in Canada:)

13. Seen anything weird lately?

Hm…no…oh but last week at my fren’s party somebody had a got computer mouse….which when clicked…u get a bloody shock till ur elbow…hahah

14. What do u think of this quiz?

Ahem quiz? Lol…which part o my brain is testing again?!
Doesn matter…I’m jobless.and it’s a Sunday.

15.What is the Last film u saw?

CRASH!
Sexy,awesome,brilliant,intense,gripping movie…

We have so little time…that people seem to be just crashing into each others lives.

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?

Sheesh… hm…shop till I drop?! (well it was a cliché q. too)

17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.

I have a nose ring:)

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Kill everyone without being a primary suspect! Heheh…this world sucks! We might as well be in heaven!

19. Do you like to dance?

Like Eminem raps…I dance;p

20. George Bush

Hm…fits the monkey jokes. He’s over and done with…nothing’s gonna happen by making fun of him or bitching about him…people should act. (pssttt AK 47…whose in?)

Note: I;m not as hostile as I sound…in fact I’m in a crazy mood! Hehhe…

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

I’ve never bothered about all this crap…will go for an ancient(Sanskrit or Greek) meaningful name.When the time comes..will look it up…

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Ref. previous ans;p

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Oh yeah! But dunno how long…

24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

You’re loved ones are on their way (in case I go first)
You’re loved ones have been waiting (in case I go last)

Lol..cant live anywhere..without em

25. People who may do this memo in their journal.

Babushka
Ramses
Ubiquitious
Michelle
Chai
Keshi
Rohit
Anup
Caffeine-Addict

7 songs I shake booty too..well i try;p

2006-03-22T19:31:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by MICHELLE:)

the tag is - 7 soings u r into right now

Well I dunno if I’m really into these songs right now…cause they’re on and off..u know.. I’ll go in order of preference, i.e. the once I groove to more these days! Lookin fwd to read ur posts on this interesting tag…

~~Everytime we touch(radio mix) by Cascada

(chorus) 'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling And every time we kiss, I swear I can fly Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last, Need you by my side 'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static, And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky, Can't you hear my heart beat slow, I can't let you go, I Want you in my life.

The lyrics aint as good as da beats..it’s a dance no!shake booty types

~~Sorry- Madonna

”I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna knowPlease don't say you're sorryI've heard it all beforeAnd I can take care of myselfI don't wanna hear, I don't wanna knowPlease don't say 'forgive me'I've seen it all beforeAnd I can't take it anymore”

hahah…she makes sense:)

~~ Fix u- Coldplay
When you try your best, but you don't succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse When the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse?

~~ My illusion- Benni Benassi

Lyrics are silly..lol…but cool beats…and like to listen to it when Im drivin…:D

~~Beep and Don’t ya – Pussy cat dolls;)

“I know u like me, I know u do. That’s why when I come around she’s all over you……………..

Etc.. Baby don’t u wish ur girlfriend was hot like me…”

~~When I’m gone- Eminem

“And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mournRejoice every time you hear the sound of my voiceJust know that I'm looking down on you smilingAnd I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no painJust smile backAnd when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mournRejoice every time you hear the sound of my voiceJust know that I'm looking down on you smilingAnd I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no painJust smile back...”

it’s a song I was addicted to a while ago..hm..well for 3 days..lol..:p

~~Lift ur leg up- Zoukey
Again a dance no…sad I couldn’t find the lyrics…but its something like

“come sexy girl, feel me, understand me sexy girl.
Lift ur leg up…common lift ur leg up”.

Lol..the beats and music rock…hehe

I was just rereading my list. N I must admit it aint the only kind of music I listen to..but I;ve been honest n put up no.s I’ve been listenin to..
Fast music gets me going…and sad and slow songs are favs too…but off late I don’t have the time to get into that “mood”. LOL;)
I need energy…pump it!!!!:) :P

I tag everyone reading this…and especially these ppl!! Wanna read it..so do it!!:p

Chai
Ubi
Babs
Ramses
Rebel on loose
Caffeine Addict
Anup
Keshi

HAPPY HOLI!:)

2006-03-15T09:39:00.000-08:00

me with blue cheeks! and my fren shradha:)

Got this off the net..for those interested in the festival!

Bhakt Prahlad & Holika

There was a mighty demon king named Hirnakashyipu who had won all the three worlds of heaven, earth and hell and had thus, become very proud. He assumed that he could defeat even Lord Vishnu with his valor. He went to the extent that he had enforced a law that everybody would worship him instead of gods and deities. However, his little son Prahlad refused to accept his commands and continued to worship Lord Vishnu with complete devotion. Infuriated by this defiance of his son, he ordered his soldiers to throw him down a hill. Praying fervently and having full faith in Lord Vishnu, Prahlad did not retract from his word. True to his faith, Lord Vishnu rescued him at the last moment.Flustered by this news, Hirnakashyipu invoked the help of his sister Holika, who had a boon that she could walk through the fire unharmed to do away with his son. The wicked aunt agreed to the evil desires of his brother and entered the fire with her nephew Prahlad. However, the brother and sister had forgot that Holika could only enter the fire alone or she would perish. Thus, blessed by Lord Vishnu, the child Prahlad remained unharmed but Holika got burnt and died instantly. Holi is thus celebrated to commemorate the death of the evil aunt, after whom the festival is named, and the new life granted to Prahlad for his devotion and faith.

To this day, cow dung is hurled into the fire and obscenities are shouted at the Holi fire at some places to insult Holika.

HAPPY HOLI!:)

2006-03-15T09:38:00.000-08:00

that's me sitting at the bottom:)

With my classmates...we had a blast today!!:)

ITS FUCKING RUDE TO INVADE MY PRIVACY!

2006-03-11T08:07:00.000-08:00

Today I had an ok day! well not that bad at first!

I had my ‘computer fundamental’(yes they typed it in the singular form) paper and I’m passing!!!:) yeh!! Cause I studied for like one and a half hours only…even that was with low concentration.

I wore my baby pink corduroy pants!:) was full khush with all the compliments I was getting ….cause been dying to get them for a long time…
Well anyway so my exam went pretty good considering I was busy reading my novel last night lol and I was in hot pants;) *good mood*

*BAD MOOD begins*
Hm…after that I think the frustration started creeping in…actually it had been there since morning, but I ignored it! Lol I said “concentrate at least in the exam hall!”
I listened to me.

The frustration was the fact that my privacy has been invaded. Some fucking losers out there have been messaging me (sms-cell phone) saying Hi..wanna be frens?
Like yeah right! What the fuck?
I was gonna abuse when I stopped and stared at my name displayed in this ‘guy’s’ messg.
Then another no. messages me saying it’s the same guy.

They know my name, have my cell no. and know my b’day!

“I heard we share the same bday and thought we could be frens. You’re bday is on… and I heard you’re a sweet gal…” blah!

I was boiling!! I was out with a fren and he kept telling me to calm down.
I’m not mad at these ‘boys’ but irritated with the person circulating info about me!

So I call one o these no.s and ask him if he could o so kindly tell me about this fren who knows me. He mentions some girl’s name who I’ve never heard of in my entire life!!

I was speechless. I’m kind of cooling down now…becoz writing helps…but I swear she is a fucking lunatic! I wonder how she’d feel she was in my place?

I mean I dunno how she heard about me and got my no. and bday date etc…but keep it to urself!Jobless creature..get a life!!
I don need ur extra service of providing ‘boy frens’!!

I told this guy I’ll talk to her..just give me the no…and I was waiting to blast the daylights outta her.
Mistake-Messing with a woman’s wrath. LOL
He said he’s “busy”! wat crap…let him go tho

Unfortunately/fortunately he hasn’t yet called and Im not gonna bother anymore..
But it makes me feel so shaken with anger and frustration. Sometimes u want to maintain a low profile. I guess ppl like me cant manage that. But I didn’t ask for shit like this.

Seriously what’s up these jobless ppl!

I maybe overreacting but I don’t care. Why the fuck should ppl invade privacy!?

Fucking losers!

Whew…heheh…most of the steam is out! (I think)
;p

It’s HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY?

2006-03-08T06:49:00.000-08:00

I don’t get it.

Why have a separate day for women? Why the hype to have an ‘ego-booster’ day. Its pathetic! Are women a minority? They are the female ‘human being’. So why is there no Man’s Day? Mind u I’m not being a feminist about this…just logical and practical. I don’t think there should be any such DAY!for any sex!
Its like we need recognition for being born this way. Y? We don’t! its silly lol…really silly.
Today is just an excuse for companies,radio stations,websites,restaurants and pubs etc to launch discounts or special offers for women and in the process publicize themselves.

For instance radiocity is having a special on this and inviting women to come into the studios from 9-9 and chat with them. That’s ok…but they gave a no. to message in our comments etc. So I did..I said it’s an ego-booster. But my message wasn’t read out nor did I get a call. Now why did that happen? Because they don’t want any negative remarks. But there are two sides to a story and they could’ve had a debate on it, which would’ve been fair.

This post is to make people think. Why do we need such days…celebrate it as an excuse but don’t get sucked into it. Like one girl said on air “why do people messg me happy women’s day on my phone?I mean why cant they call me up so that I can feel more special!”(laughs)
See? That’s my point…is she stupid or just talking crap cause she’s on air..lol
Why do women need this ‘special’ feeling by being celebrated cause she’s a woman on one day of the year!?

I still don’t get it.

Sunscreen

2006-03-03T10:52:00.000-08:00

I wanted to put up the song itself...but couldnt figure it out..and dont have much time...so if u like the lyrics...download the song! its called SUNSCREEN by Baz Luhrmann

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

STUPIDITY

2006-02-18T05:03:00.000-08:00

I know it’s a vague and weird topic to write about, thus I do feel challenged. But I wanted to write about this with the aim of expressing and knowing what people think of this. Everytime I ask someone…so what’s your definition of stupidity, they say “HUH??”
“Excuse me?”etc, and other connotations of surprise.

Well I find that we easily tag an action or person as STUPID. What is studpidity? Why are we so judgemental? Its natural I agree. I use the word ‘stupid’ really easily. But then it struck me, that its not fair to label someone stupid without reason. For eg if someone called u stupid, u may not take to it very kindly. Cause even tho words like stupid, dumb etc aren’t “abusive” ,they are effective.

Now there is no point of writing on stupidity. So then why am I writing this??!!! Probably cause I just want to people to realize that we need to be sensitive to such words and use it discretely..even mentally.

I think there are two ways to look at a situation. The other day a classmate was explaining something in an incomprehensive manner. So I asked her to repeat it and she said “eh..your’e just stupid” I said “what??” I shook my head cause I didn’t want to say..your doing communicative eng but cant communicate!!! That;s rude..and then I’ll become her. I was angry but didn’t want to fight. But my sudden silence made her realize that that statement wont be forgotten and that I’ve lost my respect for her. I could’ve started an argument..but I found it amusing:) lol…she’s being stupid..not me.

When Julia Roberts came on the Oprah Winfrey Show, she said, there’s one thing I hate. I hate stupid people. I was laughing when she said this…but its true. We hate stupidity…because …well>? I dunno..we just do!

I think we rate a situation or a person as stupid by our own stupidity. What we feel is stupid and if another doesn’t agree..well then they’re stupid. Our judgements and wavelengths differ from people. And when people don’t get us, we brand them as stupid.

Today a friend of mine was put in a stituation which she didn’t explore enough. Thus lost out. I said to myself..that gal is so stupid!! This is cause I would’ve explored..and so I’m judging her by my standards.
Its unfair..but I’ll still think she behaved in a stupid manner.
So I’m working within me to control these ‘stupid’ labels and be more sensitive..like I said before..even I dunno the point of this post..just expressed my feelings..and want to know yours..confused myself LOL!!

2006-02-15T08:43:00.000-08:00

"When we meet someone and fall in love,
we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side.
I saw this happen today as the sun went down.
And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left!

No herons, no distant music, not even the tast of his lips.

How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes
before, to vanish so quickly.

Life moves very fast. It rushes us from heaven to hell in a matter
of seconds."

-'Eleven Minutes' by Paulo Coelho

To My Best Friend Spu!!

2006-02-11T02:07:00.000-08:00

I can still see us arguing and fighting.
I can taste those birthday cakes.
I can still hear your dog barking at me.
Gone are those days.

Funny…they’re still with me.

In the hardest places you found me.
I resisted pain. You were my shield.

I broke. You waited.
When our places reversed, I did the same.

Through our weaknesses and shortcomings.
Through our fears and silliness.
We passed.
Passed with flying colours.

A path of laughter and tears.
Nurtured for 14 years.

My strength and courage faltered,
but u stood strong and tall.
But surprise gripped me when u needed
me most of all.

Loyalty.

I guess we complement each other.
Its brought us so far together.

Emotions and words get mixed up.
When I try to write about us.

But hey! This path of laughter and tears,
has been nurtured for 14 years.

I guess nothing else matters.

8 points for thee man!;)

2006-02-02T08:56:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by Ramses, Squirm and alive_n_confused !!

Rules

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.

Hm….maybe this is for my much ‘commented’ about “sexy stranger’’..
Well here goes..will be cliché but hey I’m tired....and tomo is some ‘virus-hitting-beaware-of ur priceless data-may crash’ day according to TOI so I’m ‘playing’ safe (ref. previous post for pun on playing;p) and finishing this TAG!! Specifying the gender: MALE

1. He must not be too egoistic..will clash with my ego..as my name suggests!
2. Should not be afraid to show compassion…to whoever it is- eg. Old lady crossing a street, a kid, a dog ..etc
3. Should not flush and flare nostrils if I say “You’re so gay!!”, therefore should be secure of his masculinity!
4. Laugh at my stupid jokes and make me laugh at his.
5. Be romantic:)..its never clichéd if its genuine and unique. Be sexy;)
6. Be independent and non-clingy! Should respect space and trust me like I would.
7. Share interests in doing things together yet have his own set of personal time-pass hobbies! His own identity
8. Be my best fren above all:)

i just realised i've been extremely clean above..hm..well so has everyone else..LOL;) why spoil it..ahahaha

oh..everyone reading this pls beware of the virus 'kamasutra' (i know...) that's supposed to hit on Feb 3rd (tomo.) and it infects ur files..blah...so beware and u know u've been attacked when everything 'freezes' and u have to 'reboot'!

What kind of a Kisser r U?

2006-01-30T09:01:00.000-08:00

You're a Playful Kisser

Kissing is a huge game for you, a way to flirt and playYou're the first one to suggest playing spin the bottle at a partyOr you'll go for the wild kiss during a game of truth or dareAnd you're up for kissing any sexy stranger if the mood is right!

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Squirm had put this up on her post and I tried it too..heheh:p what about u?

BUGATTI

2006-01-22T04:16:00.000-08:00

I was watching vh1 last night and on the fab 40 was bugatti at no.2! Yep the 2nd most expensive thing in the world for 2006.Its a beauty!

Bugatti is a superlative on wheels

At its top speed of 407 km/h, the $1.25 million Bugatti Veyron runs out of fuel in 12 minutes. Deliveries start this
month, and plans are to build no more than 300 of them.

Jan. 21, 2006. 01:00 AM

PALERMO, ITALY—At 320 km/h, the Bugatti Veyron 16.4 pounds a beautiful, howling hole in the sweltering haze hanging over the motorway.
This, the fastest production car in the world, is broad and low, an enamelled ellipse in a spiffy two-tone paint scheme. By comparison, its now-vanquished supercar rivals, such as the Ferrari Enzo and McLaren F1, are all edges and blades and angles, like F16 fighter planes or Japanese stunt kites.

A superlative on four wheels, the Bugatti Veyron is not only the world's fastest production car but also the most expensive: $1.25 million (U.S.) before taxes and richly deserved gas-guzzler penalties. Also, the most powerful: Its 8.0-litre, 16-cylinder, quad-turbo engine produces more than 1,000 horsepower and churns it through a high-tech all-wheel-drive system and foot-wide tires.
It's also the quickest: The Veyron accelerates to 96 km/h in 2.1 seconds, faster than a Formula 1 car, but then it's just getting started. In 20 seconds — about the time it takes a fast reader to get through this paragraph — it reaches 320 km/h. In 53 mind-blowing seconds, the Veyron reaches its marquee speed: 407 km/h.
At that speed, the tires would begin to soften in about half an hour. Fortunately, at top speed, it runs out of gas in only 12 minutes. "It's a safety feature,'' Wolfgang Schreiber, the Veyron's chief engineer, says with a smile.
The Veyron, which makes its way to the first customers this month, is many things: It's a mirror held to the automobile industry's near-past of irrational exuberance. It's a monument to the ego of Ferdinand Piech, former chairman of Volkswagen AG, which bought the Bugatti name in 1998. And it represents a defining moment in the history of the automobile, the likely pinnacle of production car cost and performance.
Six years and an estimated half-billion in the making, the car trades on one of the most famous names in motoring.

Dan Neil is the Pulitzer prize-winning automotive critic of the Los Angeles Times.

Psuedo-reality

2006-01-13T09:29:00.000-08:00

Reality bites.That is why we create pseudo-reality.
Sometimes we find solace in fiction and that itself becomes reality at that moment…for that instance…here becomes now…and that now belongs to you…in whichever form u like.
No one can take away your power to imagine, your power to feel or relive past glories. Its all in our capacity…so really..what is the truth?What is reality?

The trauma of being a victim of Schizophrenia wasnt the only message I received from the movie 15 Park Avenue that I saw on Wednesday. It got me thinking about reality.How people can become disillusioned.
My reality is no different from yours, hers or his…cause we all face the same situations at different points in our lives and find our escape routes into a place thats perfect, impeccable and untouchable. Pseudo-reality can become addictive and the movie kind of scared me because Im constantly imaging the what ifs.
According to the Oxford Dictionary – Schizophrenia: is a mental disorder marked by disconnection between thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Sounds familiar? Hahah…
The movie ends abruptly and I was a bit baffled…firstly its so sad and harsh to see someone disillusioned. You want to go and shake him/her and then probably shake yourself. I know its cliché to have happy endings but I wasnt prepared to settle for anything less after seeing the movie. But the ending was apt. The directors take was real/ unreal…whatever u please. The movie ends with the victim in her own world of imagination…and its so apt…cause thats her reality and you and I may not be in it..but we can understand it!

This whole issue of what is truth and what is real has been confronting me in diff forms. One was this movie and another was/ is the text Im reading for this sem. Its a play by Arthur Miller. “Death of a Salesman” is about a salesman who gets fired and somehow manages to make ends meet. But the salesman (Willy) constantly goes back to his past and relives it by conversing with imaginary people. He does it verbally and mumbles to himself…and ultimately commits suicide, because he considers himself as a failure.Ive left out a lot of details as those dont concern me (well they do for my paper..LOL). But my point is…he didnt accept his situation and kept reliving the past…he thought he was well-liked but no one attended his funeral.
Today in class my lecturer asked us – Would you accept that youre a fat middle-aged ugly lady or that youre attractive? hm…immediately I thought…Im fat and ugly...I mean thats what Id say if I do become like that…I mean who cares..as long as you can laugh,sing and dance!?? Life is too short for such petty things…but really will I able to accept my failures?

Heck Im accepting them today, why wont I 10 years from now? Maybe itll be hard, or harder…but I know I dont want to end up like willy nor do I want to be disillusioned.

Reality is here…in front of you…if you are in denial no one can save you except yourself.

Each moment felt like it was split in two. One regretting what was left behind and one excited about the future.
-Motorcyle Diaries

When I saw Motorcycle Diaries today, this line struck me. I may not have have quoted the exact words but thats the gist of it. Its true even I cling to the past. It comforts me…but theres a long way to go..and I just hope I dont escape reality too often.

I hope I escape it just enough to enjoy it! :)

Playing the cards....

2006-01-10T04:15:00.000-08:00

I can smile and I dont need a reason.
I can laugh and I dont have to
worry about treason.

Checking for imperfections wont leave me.
But I know thats part of me.
Loving and adoring,all in me.
Impulsive,annoying and considerate me.
Sweet and egoistic me.

It doesnt matter if u play the cards wrong.
It doesnt matter anymore nothing or no one
matters.
Until you are yourself.

ORANGES

2006-01-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

My friend Esme took this pic and I loved it!!:) Isnt it beautiful...they were on the shelf...I could've brightened it but wanted to leave 'natural'!

EVERYONE- HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HOPE U HAVE A GREAT 2006! I've been busy with my college fest.Its called Cul-ah! N we got real cool sweatshirts this time..heheh..bright blue.lol!

TERROR STRIKES IISC BANGALORE

2005-12-29T03:46:00.000-08:00

Former IIT professor shot dead

DH News Service Bangalore:

THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Two days after the Delhi police apprehended some terrorists who were allegedly planning attacks on key sites across the country, including Bangalore, an armed assailant killed a retired IIT Delhi professor, M C Puri, and injured seven others in a daring assault on the delegates of an international conference at the premier Indian Institute of Science (IISc) in Bangalore on Wednesday around 7 p.m. At least seven scientists were injured in the suspected terrorist attack in the J N Tata Auditorium premises on the IISc campus. An AK-47 rifle was used by the assailant. An unexploded hand grenade was found a few meters in front of the auditorium and an Ak-47, three magazines and 11 spent cartridges were recovered from the premises. Four bullets were also pumped into a Lancer car parked beside the Centre for Scientific and Industrial Constulancy building.

CITY POLICE IGNORED 3 ALERTS

The Intelligence Bureau(IB) had alerted the city police and the state police in Nov. about a possible attack by the Lakshar-e-Toiba militant outfit.

According to the IB sources there were 3 such alerts over a span of 20 days to the state police.
IB sources told Deccan Herald that Pakistan's Inter Services Intelligence (ISI) during its recent meeting, had planned "a strategy with extremist groups to launch fresh attacks on a limited basis in the Indian territory,especially in the southern states."

The prime targets chosen were Bangalore and Hyderabad.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Wednesday's terror shoot-out has raised doubts about the IT hub's security situation as the manhunt for the perpetrators of the suspected terror attack on the Indian Institute of Science (IISc) campus has been intensified. A high-level meeting will be conducted Thursday to take stock of the security situation.

Wednesday evening's daring strike has unnerved the city which has earned the reputation of being the country's technology hub housing some of the top software firms, which have now been asked to tighten security.”

-The Times Of India

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‘The victim was an Emeritus Professor of Mathematics who had won several laurels for
his work on the subject. He was in Bangalore to attend an international seminar on 'Operational Research'.

"He used to go to Bangalore every year to attend the seminar. When this incident happened there was a girl standing in front of him and he had seen the attacker. He pushed the girl down and shouted that there has been an attack. The girl escaped unhurt while the bullet hit him," said Vikas Kumar, Professor's son-in-law.

The brother of the deceased also mourned the great loss."I remember my childhood when my brother used to take care of me like a guardian. He used to take great interest in my studies. It's all coming back to me now," said Y C Puri, brother.’

- NDTV
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I'm just so shocked at the incident. It happened yeserday at 7 pm.The whole thing shook us...I know no place is safe now...but its never been more blatant..and somehow B'lore didnt fit into the bracket of being a target.
I felt so vulnerbale..and to some extent still do... Its really sad the way they shot randomly. It seems they didnt aim at any one in particular...On tv MC Puri's neighbour said "I hope whoever did this finds peace and doesnt attack innocent people...its a henious crime especially when he was such a decent and disciplined man..."
Its true..I hope they find peace too...or else this will never end.

I'm also extremely disappointed and ashamed of the police and the government .Man they got 3 alerts!!!!! sheesh!

sigh...hope MC Puri's family has courage and peace to cope with such a shocking and tragic incident.

Bic-runga:)

2005-12-26T09:34:00.000-08:00

I was introduced to Bic-runga by my friend a few months back. She has an awesome voice and fell in love with it, the minute I heard it. Her voice just flows from the speakers into my ears like sweet nectar!Whether I'm high, medium(blah mood) or low...I can listen to these songs anytime!:)

GOOD MORNING BABY
Cruel Intensions Soundtrack

Between an overload of information
And a striving for a pure dedication
I Find myself looking for the exit sign
See your pretty face in the sunshine
In the morning after staying up all night
I Want to wake you just to hear you
Tell me it's alright
And all I want to be is too much
Sometimes for me

Good morning baby
I hope I'm gonna make it through another day
Good morning baby
I hope I'm gonna make it through another day

See the stars and all the planets
Fly the great wide world and have it all
Yeah better get a ticket better get in line
I'm praying now for beautiful weather
Take a car and drive forever but I'm
Only ever sitting at the traffic light
And all the world to see is too much
Sometimes for me

Good morning baby
I hope I'm gonna make it through another day
Good morning baby
I hope we're gonna make it through another day (x2)

(And when you rise) And when you rise you'll find me here
(Open your eyes) And see myself reflected there
(And for awhile) A little room becomes an everywhere

GET SOME SLEEP

From here to there to everywhere
And back to Union Square
Where do I get some sleep?
Anywhere the sleep dust lies
It decorates your eyes
Where do I get some sleep?

Stranded in June
Whistling the same old tune
But I do believe I might be having fun
I believe I might be having fun
Impeccably dressed in your second hand vest
We were waiting for the taxi to come

Putting on my daytime eyes
A good enough disguise
Until I get some sleep
Reading out the horoscopes
And using up our jokes
When do we get to sleep?

Stand on the moon
Find the light of my living room
Yes I do believe I might be having fun
I believe I might be having fun
Tune into the station
Make a dedication
This is going out to everyone
This is going out to everyone
This is going out to everyone
Something in the phrasing was quietly amazing
We were waiting for the chorus to come
This is going out to everyone
This is going out to everyone

From here to there to everywhere
And back to union square
Where do I get some sleep?
Anywhere the sleep dust lies
It decorates your eyes
When do I get some sleep?

Stranded in June
Whistling the same old tune
Yes I do believe I might be having fun
I believe I might be having fun
Tune into the station
Make a dedication
This is going out to everyone
This is going out to everyone
This is going out to everyone
This is going out to everyone
Going out to everyone
This is going out to everyone

*******************************************************************************************

Beauty tip

2005-12-23T22:55:00.000-08:00

I came across this article on ubersexuals in The Week.

But I think this applies to everyone...not only ubesexuals!:)

"Looking good is a symptom of fundamental insecurity. You use your exterior facade only to hide some flaws."

-SAMIR NAIR, COO, STAR TV

"Put your heads on my shoulder"

2005-12-22T00:02:00.000-08:00

I'm just relaxing at home...and was listening to this song...the lyrics are so cute:) it was originally sung by Paul Anka...however I was listening to the Good Charlotte version.

Put your heads on my shoulder
hold me in yours arms, baby
squeeze me oh so tight and show me
that you love me too

Put your lips next to mine dear,
wont you kiss me once so baby,
just to kiss goodnight and maybe
you and i will fall in love

People say
that love is a game
a game, you just cant win
if theres a way i'll find it someday
and then this fool will rush in

Put your heads on my shoulder
whisper in my ear baby
words i wanna hear, tell me
tell me that you love me too

Put your heads on my shoulder
whisper in my ear baby
words i wanna hear please, baby
put your heads on my shoulder

Selfless endeavors

2005-12-20T10:18:00.000-08:00

Today seemed liked just another day. I was late for class as usual..hehe -but the lecturer came in 5 mins before me..so its cool;) We had just one hour of college! Yeh! I’m free the whole day…or that’s what I thought!

Its that time of the year where the new student body is elected.So students who want to be part of the Union can campaign- put up posters, go to each class and give a lil speech, and say “blah blah blah and basically…and blah….so..PLEASE vote for me!”
A friend of mine is standing for Cultural secretary and she forced me to go along with her to every class!

Now that’s not me..nope..I’m actually quite selfish. I stay so far from college..that going back home and just relaxing is a treat,i.e.whenever classes are cancelled!

But today I was dumbstruck when she said “Elections are once a year!!” Hm…damn it..ur right. “N what’ll u do at home anyway??” Hm… (laugh) “I’ll watch a movie!” hehe…so I trudged the steps and stood outside the classes for her..she called it ‘moral support’ (grin). Lotsa students were campaigning together.
Yeah…it was moral support..but I felt selfless…and it’s a memory that’s tucked in my brain automatically…a memory that’ll make me grin and think..hm…so I did that!?!haha
Yep I listened to the same speech around 10-15 times and in some classes they asked her to dance …cause she said she’s a dancer..was funny and gutsy! :)

So it was just another day…and I had absolutely nothing to do!Except for my law class at 4:30 in the evening. So I had to hang around till then! But wait today I did another selfless deed..wonder why?

There’s a Christmas tree competition. All classes can take part…but my class had no clue..lol! anyway..so I met this other girl whose my friend’s friend..and we don’t know each other at all..just smile at one another when in same company.
So I’m sitting around (legs hurting from going all over campus..-campaigning) and this ‘new gal’ asks me… “You wanna help?” – they were decorating their tree.. “Sure…” ( they were putting up names of their classmates among the other decorations…how tough is that!)
“Are u creative?”..and she started digging into her bag… “Hehehe…uh..yeah..” thinking..oh no what’s coming my way??!
“Good! Can u make this poster for me?” Oh..whew! I love art..so its cool..and it was relaxing!
So I made this funky poster- Like the Branches of this Tree- We are all different yet One.

She suggested the line..:) I’m not like this..and I still don’t know why I did that poster. I don’t even know if I’ll hang out with them again..but just did it and felt strangely happy!

Hm..is it the spirit of the season or..me just having nothing to do…or just another non-bad mood day!? ;p

Down Memory Lane.......

2005-12-16T04:44:00.000-08:00

Got tagged by Rams

10 years ago…

Aah…life was innocent and fun and games- played ‘elastic’, dodgeball
Travelled in a big yellow school bus…it was sooo much fun!

It was that year (4th std) I had seen (and will most probably never see again) the skeleton of a dead bat…yep its gross but the image is still vivid! White and dry…lying on the floor outside a classroom. My school is celbrating 125 years this year ;)

Actually we did a lot of weird things…apart from finding dead bats…um..we called spirits using a coin! Queen Elizabeth was a favorite. It seemed to work.lol! My best friend (back then she was a good fren..but we used to fight and stuff) acted like she was possessed by a spirit and ran around the campus…it was so funny..I knew she was acting. But other kids were following her..hehe..weird how u cant forget somethings.. I can still picture her running with her hands spread out..haha..we still laugh about it!

10 years ago I learnt the meaning of the finger bet the index and ring finger.

5 years back….

Basketball was everything! I played it regularly and religiously and my whole batch was into it. I was a good shooter. I still am- tho need warm ups..hehe

9th std…um…my first spin the bottle game heheeee…god!

Started writing poetry and generally ‘figuring out life’…something that has stuck with me still?! Doesn’t look like its leaving soon..

Last year…

Oh man! Was awesome! Joined a superb course..loved it! And still do! Wrote a very interesting entrance exam for it…

Watched brilliant films…we had this movie marathon in college. Amazing films and we learnt film appreciation- director’s take on the movie, genre, use of colors..blah!

One disgusting and disturbing film- Rosemary’s baby (yuck)

Learned about love, life and friendship..seems like u can never stop learning.

Yesterday

Checked out this cute basketball player in college…we had intercollege matches going on…cheered for my college too!

Gossipped with a fren..on the ‘latest news’ hehe…

Drove my dad to my sis’ school…

Cribbed about life..and was pissed off for some reason…my usual mood swings!

5 yummy things…

Ooh..this one’s tough being a foodie..
Tandoori food…
Pasta, pizzas…and cheesy stuff (i.e. containing CEESE)
Chocolates and corner house ice- creams
Mangy food..and some south Indian delicacies
Gulab jamoon :) peaches, strawberries and cream

5 things I know by heart…

Phone no.s
Birthdays of special people
Way to my best friends’ houses
Way to my house ;p
Way to my school;)

5 things I’d do if I had lots a money…

Oh goodie..lots..where to start!??
GET A DOG! AND MANY IF POSSIBLE! Sigh..not allowed to have one:(
Labrador is one o my fav!
Get a fancy car
Hit expensive restaurants
Take family and friends on a holiday..um…maybe separately is a better idea ;p
Flaunt ?!!>.heheh

5 places I escape to…

My loo
My bed, my room
My lalala land
My best friend’s/ friends house
Sometimes college..yuck..but it helps distract me!

5 things I’d never wear…

Hm..interesting…ok..lets see..

Fluorescent colours of yellow, green, orange…etc -actually all colours!
Moulin rouge attire!
Pink hat
Golden pants
Um…fig leaves????!!!

5 fav tv shows…

I love Star world!

Scrubs
One tree hill
Everybody loves Raymond
Life as we know it
The Apprentice

5 things I enjoy doing….

Surfing the net..checking mail,blogging..etc
Reading
Listening to music
Being extra successful in my lala land;p
Hanging out with my pals

Honestly I’ve not blogged for too long..so here are a few I’d like to tag..tho most of my frens have already been tagged. I've tagged these guys cause they write really well!:)
Squirm , Vishwa, Ashes , Bhanu

COOKING = HEALING :)

2005-12-11T08:35:00.000-08:00

The other day I cooked. I made stew with my granddad!:) It was so much fun…especially cause I haven’t cooked in such a long time!! I took pictures too-something I did on impulse as the ingredients looked so colorful and natural:)

I had gone out the whole day and when I came back home…my mom asked me to help my granddad cook stew. At first I was reluctant cause of my blah mood and I was tired but agreed anyway.

Cutting the veggies

So I started with the carrots,then the potatoes,and chopped celery..yeah chopped leaves! It looks so easy when people do it..but I looked at the leaves and thought ‘How the hell do u chop leaves!?’: Being a perfectionist this thought occurred to me.I had to get them right and equal..then I said screw it..it just has to be chopped..so without any aim,just chopped!

Onto the stove

Putting in most of the veggies into crackling oil I began stirring. So I stirred..and stirred..man it took forever!!
I took this pic before the cabbage,carrots and potatoes went in.

I had lots of fun! :)

The end results – satisfaction and felt good about the whole thing,spending quality time with granddad, didn’t laze around and a healthy dinner for all!

Unreachable

2005-12-05T01:53:00.000-08:00

Too far inside, deepening anxiety,
Prone to explode. But when?

Vortex created;destroying slowly.

Time will tell the unfathomable prediction.

Unthinkable, but true.
It’ll get you, but
right now your unreachable.

Even you can’t handle you.

Things I've Realised ( I )

2005-12-02T23:28:00.000-08:00

Follow your heart and you wont regret it
The first answer that comes to you, is the right one (esp with multiple choice)
I’m smart at first then suck when in too deep!
Insecure people lie.
Facades are used by everyone;it depends which one we use and why
I hate snobs,well actually laugh at them, HAHA
Someone who calls u a loser,is actually a loser
Generosity should come naturally
At times people allow themselves to be used,but then u get this sick feeling in your stomach,and u feel obliged. So don’t use!
Jokes aren’t funny when your poking fun at someone’s deep secret or a weakness, i.e. when someone spills their gutts to you and u use it as thing to laugh about.Its happened to me..n I felt sick at first. But then I realised that they’re just chicken to talk about it and admit that they’ve been there too
Teasing is cute but not like the aforesaid
Love is beautiful but crazy cause u cant control it when u have to
Be answerable to yourself; no point feeling guilty
People who love talking about themselves and their achievements (everytime u meet them *rolling eyes*), are actually convincing themselves how great they are!

For World AIDS Day

2005-12-01T11:37:00.000-08:00

Today I saw 2 films on AIDS.
One was like a documentary but covered a lot of things in terms of cinematography. I don’t know the name as I started seeing it half way and VH1 didn’t have any commercials! What I really liked about the film was that it connected people from different places..told the story of different people..who were connected with the same disease,and at one point in their lives had met each other.

The next one was My Brother Nikhil (Victor Bannerjea,Sanjay Suri and Juhi Chawala).
I must say it really touched me,especially their performance with the songs and background music.A very well made film. It was really well put…the way people treat u if you’re infected. The movie really put u in Nikhil’s shoes…what if I was Nikhil.

N another message which was so true- It doesn’t matter how you got AIDS, what matters is how you react to it!

I wouldn’t have really felt the message if I hadn’t seen the pain society caused Nik. and his sis..even his friend..twas really deep. He stood alone..and and they fought for him. Even his parents didn’t help! That was really sick..and scary.

I know its pretty depressing to read stuff like this…but its world AIDS day and since I saw the 2 films..wanted to blog about it!

The Human Mind

2005-11-30T11:37:00.000-08:00

One of the most amazing things that we have, yet we don’t always revere, is the human mind.This multifaceted and unique living creature,the conscious or subconscious (been studying too much of pyshology!) fascinates me!

The power to think, to concentrate, to study, to resolve, to create, to not to anything etc…the list goes on. All this is because of our mind. Our psyche.

Whenever something arises that’s too tempting but I know its bad for me….I stop myself(well try to!hehe)..and this is my will power…something I don’t really think about till I’m shocked at my resistance!The human mind has realms which most of us haven’t discovered. That’s why sages and saints(who meditated and levitated)are called so…they knew much more…they had explored.

Some things are better left unexplained. Thus even if you sit and ponder life’s mysteries..you cannot always solve them. Why try? Yet everyday our brain’s ticking with questions,answers,arguments,ideas,facts,figures…blah blah…
So what’s my point? Nothing..it just fascinates me. The whole damn thing.
Yes its damned…cause sometimes you don’t want to think.You want to forget.Forget people, places, situations etc.
But sometimes your amazed at the little details you remember. The happy and silly details!

That’s the beauty of our mind. Its powerful and incredible.

And nothing I type, will be able to describe its true essence!

My latest obsession

2005-11-27T02:41:00.000-08:00

Sean Farris!!!
I love him!!!he's so cute..n so hot!!his smile :) WOWIEE!
Somebody please help me get his no!??
:)

Her wrath....

2005-11-20T07:09:00.000-08:00

Shaking the innocent look~ Truth hurts..and pours out quickly.
Anger spilled~ Words spat~ Her wrath had begun.
Misunderstood~ Some things happen to stall time.

She seemed amazed and pensive.

Love was harsh and truth was cold.
Love is painful~ Wrath mellowed.
Melting moments.

The story unfolds.

Dedicated to Nivzy...

Took the wrong turn, Again!

2005-11-15T06:03:00.000-08:00

Travelling on a similar road.
Funny some things never grow old.
Discovering the same truths.
Even though I feel like a fool.

Strange the way things change.
Wishes and dreams fade.
What was here now is gone.
Waiting for that dawn.

Conclusions and beliefs I try.
Wisdom stopping to pry.
Laughing at my silliness.
Journeying into the mist.

Lost Cause....

2005-11-15T05:37:00.000-08:00

'There’s too many people you used to know,
They see you coming they see you go.
They know your secrets and you know theirs.
This town is crazy, but nobody cares.'

Beck- Lost Cause

Levels of Passion

2005-10-28T02:32:00.000-07:00

(Wrote this in the summer of 2005)

Fire and emotions mix together and create Passion.You fall in love with an object.The object could be a person or just an inanimate object.An attachment so quick,too easy to comprehend, so sudden.So inappropriate, yet beautiful and tender.Holding on to such a feeling isn’t difficult.To retain this fervor isn’t an effort of the mind.It’s an act of the heart and this rules the mind, for the heart doesn’t follow logic,reasons and explainations.It follows the simple rule of pleasure.The inexplicable principle of not justifying and following basic instincts.Passion is bound by this and blinds your head.You take turns in life which make you fall or succeed.One things for sure, when its guided by your heart, you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, because you had no reason.The beauty of Passion is that it cannot be controlled but it can be curtailed.The art of curtailing passion can be understood and achieved after you are scarred. In some cases it takes one deep scar, while is some the heart requires more.But this magical curio becomes priceless when you learn this art.This art of curtailing and limiting your passions to different levels.And you are the sole master.Art of feeling without bleeding. Art of engaging without participating.This art of entering a world without existing.Its like feeling yet not feeling.A power that makes you proud to have been scarred.When one questions this judgement- he or she hasn’t been scarred, yet.

Impressions

2005-10-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

For the past few days I’ve been working day and night on my job journal. Though most of it was done, finishing touches took so long. And just when I thought I was done, I remembered something else…and it went on….
When I was working on it one thing kept ringing in my head. Something my lecturer told me, ‘Its got to look good Rohini.’ Now that advice was/is good, especially cause evaluators have too many job reports to read. Keeping that in mind I’d repeat it to myself.Even though its ironic, impressions are everything in this world.
For instance, it was 2 am, I was listening to music and kinda spaced out from lack of sleep and loud music that I blared to prevent me from sleeping, and continue working, when I spotted this beautiful white moth. It was so small, maybe just a little bigger than the nail of my little finger.
Now I said beautiful and moth in the same sentence, now and then in my head. That’s usually not me. I’m scared of them. They’re usually big, brown and ugly and come right at me. Well that’s another story, I always attract insects..sad. Anyhow I guess me being zonked and the moth being tiny and pretty didn’t get me tensed. But even in that state I realised how petty I was…its true Impressions are everything.

'The whole world loves it when you make that sound'

2005-10-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

Its one in the morning.I’m listening to Outkast…‘and the whole world loves it when you make that sound’.
I’m wide awake yet tired. What to do? I have some of my job journal left but my brain refuses to work anymore. Its only letting me type nonsense haha like I’m now.
I’m bored!waaaaaaaaaaaaa…..n my free messages are over! Hm..what are the chances of anyone being up now anyway?
Lol…I shall go now..maybe read something. Shit and I made this rule for myself, not to start any novel now cause my exams are coming up and I should read the given novels (tess n hindi) instead! L well ideally hehehe…
Now kryptonite… ‘If I go crazy then will you still call me superman?’lalala....

The blah mood

2005-10-15T12:07:00.000-07:00

I hate it when I get into the blah mood. You know when you just don’t feel like doing anything, when nothing seems important, when no one seems friendly or nice, when life just loses its purpose?!
Yep it’s the infamous blah mood. I think, so what am I gonna do with my life, this is one of the worst characteristics of the blah mood. It brings me face to face with the word ‘Career’…hm… I hate this mood.
The blah mood hits me at the weirdest hours. It could be after a good nap, it could be any time after college. The only way I control it, is by getting distracted! Or try to…
And when I walk home from the bus stand, I think. Sometimes I just stare at the dogs or weird strangers who stare at me. But its during this walk that I plan the evening’s agenda.
So today in the blah mood I said I have to write 2 articles,do my job journal and OE assignment. But that was some sane part of my brain. I reached home and dozed off!
Life has no purpose or maybe its just my cold..lol

Squirrel Crap!

2005-10-06T09:28:00.000-07:00

Having finished my Psychology paper, I lugged my bag onto my shoulder and walked with the general flow of the masses. All of us like zombies. Mechanically heading for the Nescafe kiosk.
So I walk and walk and finally reach the drive. Note the stress on walk, even though the distance is short, it felt like such an effort after that paper, lack of sleep and general boredom. 2nd year in college and I still don’t know whether Nescafe is at the front drive or the back drive!?
The drive and Nescafe should help u picture the exact location, if you’ve been to MCC.
I spotted my friends who were all complaining or rather laughing about our brilliant performance in our favourite subject, Psychology! I laughed too.
Some were sitting and some where standing. I love to sit, I mean who wants to stand when u can sit? Unfortunately every space available to park my ass was dirty. So I stood and whined and sought for some less muddy area.
Momentarily forgetting about this dilemma I got into some conversation about studies?or was it food? Or something…well anyway suddenly I shut my mouth. Was that a plop on my head?
My first reaction was “What the hell?” Slowly I reached up and touched my hair.
If a crow had done it, I’d be cool. BUT A SQUIRREL!???
What are the chances of that happening to anyone but me?! I’m always getting myself into the weirdest and the funniest situations.Haha…But then I wasn’t laughing. I was shocked and bemused. I was getting angry and was already bugged as aforesaid so I cried out loud! Everyone laughed, well so would I if I hadn’t been the one with crap on my hair.
The worst part, I had shampooed my hair in the morning. I washed it off and grumpily sat on the muddy stone.
Who cared if it was dirty anymore, a squirrel had just unloaded its crap on me!

And they met

2005-09-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Looking into his eyes, a silent prayer.
Sleeping in the night, her eyes with tears.
Laughing and talking, an attraction grew.
Their Friendship ran deeper than their hearts.

Days went by and nothing said.
She was waiting, he was hoping.
If she could turn back time, she wouldn’t .
This makes her live. If he could, he’d fly.

His thoughts wander and land on her face.
Everytime he turns around he sees her.
Its like he’s in two worlds.
But in the night, he’s with her.

And they met.
They met as strangers
And now they exist in each other’s passion.
Not knowing where to turn, he hopes.
Not knowing what to say, she prays.
Laughing and talking, an attraction.
Friendship blossomed into an innocent love.

My magical potion

2005-09-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

I reached home early and threw my bag on the floor. I was so happy I had just missed the heavy rain that was now hitting hard on the windows! Nobody was home!Me all alone!
After my little victory dance I decided I needed a plan of action. The first thing that I felt was this urge to have hot tea. It was cold and the thought of hot tea seemed good.
Thus began the making of my special tea. Special because I was home alone and it just felt special. I went into the kitchen and took out a big mug. Then I sought a pan. I was getting excited at the prospect of drinking tea and doing something fun. But I still had no clue what the fun part would be. Anyhow I boiled some water in the pan and added a spoonful of tea leaves. I was momentarily captivated by the swirling and bubbling water that had now turned dark brown. I put in some milk and waited for the mixture to rise till the brim. A monster I had created was rising and I easily put it out. It gave me a pleasant surprise that I had controlled ‘the monster’.Grinning stupidly at this afterthought I added two spoons of sugar to the empty cup. Then I poured the hot tea into it and stirred it. The aroma was enthralling. I was quite pleased with myself.
It was still raining. Suddenly there was a power cut. Disappointment was my immediate reaction and I realised subconsciously watching tv had been my idea of fun! I looked out of the French windows. My garden looked beautiful. I sat there and stared into the greens and sheets of rain, sipping on my magical potion. Everything seemed to fit in its place and I was happy!

FLAKE

2005-09-21T09:24:00.000-07:00

Looks are everything. If not you’re living in a make-believe world.
Those eyes looked up at me confused and helpless. Everything was in my hand. But nothing seemed to go right. All morals and principles were blackened when I realized we are such hypocrites. Even though I could blindly follow mine, uncontrollable factors (people) influenced the fate of Flake.
Flake was what I wanted to call this tiny creature, innocent and dirty. Stronger than his brothers and sisters, Flake was so used to me in 3 hours. I felt like his guardian. I felt comfortable. He had to be given away for reasons that just boil down to--looks are everything.
I saw him leave, from my arms to another’s. I trusted the others as they weren’t strangers. But Flake was treated with medicines. Why can’t I keep him? Flake I want to visit you, but if I do, I might not be able to walk away, yet.

On J.K.Rowling

2005-09-07T07:37:00.000-07:00

After I read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

At her mercy the world awaits for the last tale.The conclusion of her creation.I was stupefied by her decision.Unacceptable; whatever her reasons maybe.It seems to me the grand finale, would be even worse.How can she be so harsh to devoted followers of this new world she introduced.
The world is cruel.Then why does the old saying of good shall prosper over the evil still give us hope.This weakness is her power over us, keeping us hooked on feeling miserable, without a choice and waiting for more.

Is

2005-08-30T10:04:00.000-07:00

(Inspired by my daily bus rides)

If life is so complicated and we know it
why don’t we stop and see?
If only things were so easy.
A smile, a trickle, a handshake,
outside my window, and I break.
Sights and sounds distract me.
Feel lost, easy, smooth.
Outside this window people are walking,
talking, laughing.
Inside this window I’m sitting, observing.
Mundane activities that they perform, and I
a silent observer enjoy the show.
Forgetting all that I had come with.
Healing through their innocence.
To watch and feel what they do
I feel once again its true.
You can cheat, you can win, you can mope
or you can smile.
In bliss, in chaos , in numbness.
Life is beautiful, and will always be.

Speak No More

2005-08-15T21:27:00.000-07:00

Speak no more to me.
I'm quiet.Peace.Let this be.
Speak no more to me.
I'm tired.I'm shaken.
Speak no more to me.
You hurt me when you open your mouth.

Speak no more to me.
I'm listening.I'm hoping.I'm breaking.
Speak no more to me.
I'm untouched.I'm fine.I'm not.

Speak no more to me.
I'm trying.I'm smiling.
Speak no more to me.
I'm silent.I'm patient.
Speak no more.
I'm like this because of you.
Speak no more,or my rage
doesn't know how far it will go.

Strange but cool

2005-06-18T06:09:00.000-07:00

Life is quite advanced and modern at Mount Carmel College, especially when you take up Communicative English! There is a lot of freedom of speech and thought; something I never expected from this college. Here I’ve got chances to be free with our lecturers yet respect them; it’s a mutual understanding. The faculty is simply wonderful! I may not be the type to always laugh and chat with them, but I respect almost all of them.
The coolest and strangest thing that I experienced last year was when my H.O.D, Mrs. Sahana Das, would message me (sometimes) and our class rep, saying classes were cancelled! I was so happy and proud of this informality that I’d show off to my family and friends, telling them my lecturer is so cool.
The reason I was so pleasantly shocked was because I’m so used to being formal with my teachers. At MCC I’ve learnt to balance!

Half truths are not lies....

2005-06-16T06:42:00.001-07:00

Half truths are not lies.
Half lies are not truths.
Each type misleads you.
Each type hurts you.
Trust is what you had.
Faith is what you wanted.
Pain is what you got.
Deception is what you have.

Life is a game of risks.
Life has its turns and twists.
It’s all a vicious circle.
History will repeat itself.
Doing good didn’t do you any.
Doing bad disturbed your peace.
Doing things impulsively caused regrets.

Your mind is confused.
This phase has no name.
Lost in thought.
Glazed eyes and a cold heart.
Its not so cold as you want it to be.
It bled and now the drops are frozen.
Nothing is unexpected anymore.
Nothing is expected anymore.

Love is undefined.
Relationships change everyday.
It’s definition varies from people to people.
Secrets have a weird cause.
Why keep any when everyone’s in the same boat.
Why hide when nothing’s worth.
Touch reality and its gone.
Like a vapor truth keeps disappearing.
Perplexed you look around.

Half truths are not lies.
Half lies are not truths.

the_ego_has_landed

My site of insight!

memorial art

Moving on as a way of life

Stray dogs

Bookmarks

Ideas

Our first battle

Travel discoveries

25 things your forced to think 'randomly'

face value

I understand your pissed. But I had every right to that drink.

November 26th, Wednesday, Night 9:15 pm onwards....and it went on... for 60 hours

If I were a Boy

Ironic questions & thoughts

Tag!

Life cannot be programmed

Curse of the Spider

Respect

Golden Kisses

From a song....

Tagged!

Decisions

And then came the rain....

Music and the heart

New life

another one heheheh....

blogthing!

Ode to my grandfather

The oddity of being me

Magic :)

Nothing complicated about it!

The Beautiful Irony

Zero

Bitter Bites

No Kidding around.....

Secret garden

BIRHTDAY REMINISCES

Losing People (to the friends I thought I had, especially one)

Tasting freedom

This time Its Really different!!!

letting loose...

MASKED!!

What Superhero are u?

LiAr LiAr PANTS on FIRE!

Clueless

Didnt wanna leave kerala :(

2 souls meet

*Moment*:)

25 questions…I answered cause …well…nothing good on tv:p

7 songs I shake booty too..well i try;p

HAPPY HOLI!:)

HAPPY HOLI!:)

ITS FUCKING RUDE TO INVADE MY PRIVACY!

It’s HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY?

Sunscreen

STUPIDITY

To My Best Friend Spu!!

8 points for thee man!;)

What kind of a Kisser r U?

BUGATTI

Psuedo-reality

Playing the cards....

ORANGES

TERROR STRIKES IISC BANGALORE

Bic-runga:)

Beauty tip

"Put your heads on my shoulder"

Selfless endeavors

Down Memory Lane.......

COOKING = HEALING :)

Unreachable

Things I've Realised ( I )

For World AIDS Day

The Human Mind

My latest obsession

Her wrath....

Took the wrong turn, Again!

Lost Cause....

Levels of Passion

Impressions

Moment:)