The Human Mind

One of the most amazing things that we have, yet we don’t always revere, is the human mind.This multifaceted and unique living creature,the conscious or subconscious (been studying too much of pyshology!) fascinates me!

The power to think, to concentrate, to study, to resolve, to create, to not to anything etc…the list goes on. All this is because of our mind. Our psyche.

Whenever something arises that’s too tempting but I know its bad for me….I stop myself(well try to!hehe)..and this is my will power…something I don’t really think about till I’m shocked at my resistance!The human mind has realms which most of us haven’t discovered. That’s why sages and saints(who meditated and levitated)are called so…they knew much more…they had explored.

Some things are better left unexplained. Thus even if you sit and ponder life’s mysteries..you cannot always solve them. Why try? Yet everyday our brain’s ticking with questions,answers,arguments,ideas,facts,figures…blah blah…
So what’s my point? Nothing..it just fascinates me. The whole damn thing.
Yes its damned…cause sometimes you don’t want to think.You want to forget.Forget people, places, situations etc.
But sometimes your amazed at the little details you remember. The happy and silly details!

That’s the beauty of our mind. Its powerful and incredible.

And nothing I type, will be able to describe its true essence!

My latest obsession

Sean Farris!!!
I love him!!!he's so cute..n so hot!!his smile :) WOWIEE!
Somebody please help me get his no!??
:)

Her wrath....

Shaking the innocent look~ Truth hurts..and pours out quickly.
Anger spilled~ Words spat~ Her wrath had begun.
Misunderstood~ Some things happen to stall time.

She seemed amazed and pensive.

Love was harsh and truth was cold.
Love is painful~ Wrath mellowed.
Melting moments.

The story unfolds.


Dedicated to Nivzy...

Took the wrong turn, Again!

Travelling on a similar road.
Funny some things never grow old.
Discovering the same truths.
Even though I feel like a fool.

Strange the way things change.
Wishes and dreams fade.
What was here now is gone.
Waiting for that dawn.

Conclusions and beliefs I try.
Wisdom stopping to pry.
Laughing at my silliness.
Journeying into the mist.

Lost Cause....

'There’s too many people you used to know,
They see you coming they see you go.
They know your secrets and you know theirs.
This town is crazy, but nobody cares.'

Beck- Lost Cause

Levels of Passion

(Wrote this in the summer of 2005)

Fire and emotions mix together and create Passion.You fall in love with an object.The object could be a person or just an inanimate object.An attachment so quick,too easy to comprehend, so sudden.So inappropriate, yet beautiful and tender.Holding on to such a feeling isn’t difficult.To retain this fervor isn’t an effort of the mind.It’s an act of the heart and this rules the mind, for the heart doesn’t follow logic,reasons and explainations.It follows the simple rule of pleasure.The inexplicable principle of not justifying and following basic instincts.Passion is bound by this and blinds your head.You take turns in life which make you fall or succeed.One things for sure, when its guided by your heart, you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, because you had no reason.The beauty of Passion is that it cannot be controlled but it can be curtailed.The art of curtailing passion can be understood and achieved after you are scarred. In some cases it takes one deep scar, while is some the heart requires more.But this magical curio becomes priceless when you learn this art.This art of curtailing and limiting your passions to different levels.And you are the sole master.Art of feeling without bleeding. Art of engaging without participating.This art of entering a world without existing.Its like feeling yet not feeling.A power that makes you proud to have been scarred.When one questions this judgement- he or she hasn’t been scarred, yet.

Impressions

For the past few days I’ve been working day and night on my job journal. Though most of it was done, finishing touches took so long. And just when I thought I was done, I remembered something else…and it went on….
When I was working on it one thing kept ringing in my head. Something my lecturer told me, ‘Its got to look good Rohini.’ Now that advice was/is good, especially cause evaluators have too many job reports to read. Keeping that in mind I’d repeat it to myself.Even though its ironic, impressions are everything in this world.
For instance, it was 2 am, I was listening to music and kinda spaced out from lack of sleep and loud music that I blared to prevent me from sleeping, and continue working, when I spotted this beautiful white moth. It was so small, maybe just a little bigger than the nail of my little finger.
Now I said beautiful and moth in the same sentence, now and then in my head. That’s usually not me. I’m scared of them. They’re usually big, brown and ugly and come right at me. Well that’s another story, I always attract insects..sad. Anyhow I guess me being zonked and the moth being tiny and pretty didn’t get me tensed. But even in that state I realised how petty I was…its true Impressions are everything.

'The whole world loves it when you make that sound'

Its one in the morning.I’m listening to Outkast…‘and the whole world loves it when you make that sound’.
I’m wide awake yet tired. What to do? I have some of my job journal left but my brain refuses to work anymore. Its only letting me type nonsense haha like I’m now.
I’m bored!waaaaaaaaaaaaa…..n my free messages are over! Hm..what are the chances of anyone being up now anyway?
Lol…I shall go now..maybe read something. Shit and I made this rule for myself, not to start any novel now cause my exams are coming up and I should read the given novels (tess n hindi) instead! L well ideally hehehe…
Now kryptonite… ‘If I go crazy then will you still call me superman?’lalala....

The blah mood

I hate it when I get into the blah mood. You know when you just don’t feel like doing anything, when nothing seems important, when no one seems friendly or nice, when life just loses its purpose?!
Yep it’s the infamous blah mood. I think, so what am I gonna do with my life, this is one of the worst characteristics of the blah mood. It brings me face to face with the word ‘Career’…hm… I hate this mood.
The blah mood hits me at the weirdest hours. It could be after a good nap, it could be any time after college. The only way I control it, is by getting distracted! Or try to…
And when I walk home from the bus stand, I think. Sometimes I just stare at the dogs or weird strangers who stare at me. But its during this walk that I plan the evening’s agenda.
So today in the blah mood I said I have to write 2 articles,do my job journal and OE assignment. But that was some sane part of my brain. I reached home and dozed off!
Life has no purpose or maybe its just my cold..lol

Squirrel Crap!

Having finished my Psychology paper, I lugged my bag onto my shoulder and walked with the general flow of the masses. All of us like zombies. Mechanically heading for the Nescafe kiosk.
So I walk and walk and finally reach the drive. Note the stress on walk, even though the distance is short, it felt like such an effort after that paper, lack of sleep and general boredom. 2nd year in college and I still don’t know whether Nescafe is at the front drive or the back drive!?
The drive and Nescafe should help u picture the exact location, if you’ve been to MCC.
I spotted my friends who were all complaining or rather laughing about our brilliant performance in our favourite subject, Psychology! I laughed too.
Some were sitting and some where standing. I love to sit, I mean who wants to stand when u can sit? Unfortunately every space available to park my ass was dirty. So I stood and whined and sought for some less muddy area.
Momentarily forgetting about this dilemma I got into some conversation about studies?or was it food? Or something…well anyway suddenly I shut my mouth. Was that a plop on my head?
My first reaction was “What the hell?” Slowly I reached up and touched my hair.
If a crow had done it, I’d be cool. BUT A SQUIRREL!???
What are the chances of that happening to anyone but me?! I’m always getting myself into the weirdest and the funniest situations.Haha…But then I wasn’t laughing. I was shocked and bemused. I was getting angry and was already bugged as aforesaid so I cried out loud! Everyone laughed, well so would I if I hadn’t been the one with crap on my hair.
The worst part, I had shampooed my hair in the morning. I washed it off and grumpily sat on the muddy stone.
Who cared if it was dirty anymore, a squirrel had just unloaded its crap on me!

And they met

Looking into his eyes, a silent prayer.
Sleeping in the night, her eyes with tears.
Laughing and talking, an attraction grew.
Their Friendship ran deeper than their hearts.

Days went by and nothing said.
She was waiting, he was hoping.
If she could turn back time, she wouldn’t .
This makes her live. If he could, he’d fly.

His thoughts wander and land on her face.
Everytime he turns around he sees her.
Its like he’s in two worlds.
But in the night, he’s with her.

And they met.
They met as strangers
And now they exist in each other’s passion.
Not knowing where to turn, he hopes.
Not knowing what to say, she prays.
Laughing and talking, an attraction.
Friendship blossomed into an innocent love.

My magical potion

I reached home early and threw my bag on the floor. I was so happy I had just missed the heavy rain that was now hitting hard on the windows! Nobody was home!Me all alone!
After my little victory dance I decided I needed a plan of action. The first thing that I felt was this urge to have hot tea. It was cold and the thought of hot tea seemed good.
Thus began the making of my special tea. Special because I was home alone and it just felt special. I went into the kitchen and took out a big mug. Then I sought a pan. I was getting excited at the prospect of drinking tea and doing something fun. But I still had no clue what the fun part would be. Anyhow I boiled some water in the pan and added a spoonful of tea leaves. I was momentarily captivated by the swirling and bubbling water that had now turned dark brown. I put in some milk and waited for the mixture to rise till the brim. A monster I had created was rising and I easily put it out. It gave me a pleasant surprise that I had controlled ‘the monster’.Grinning stupidly at this afterthought I added two spoons of sugar to the empty cup. Then I poured the hot tea into it and stirred it. The aroma was enthralling. I was quite pleased with myself.
It was still raining. Suddenly there was a power cut. Disappointment was my immediate reaction and I realised subconsciously watching tv had been my idea of fun! I looked out of the French windows. My garden looked beautiful. I sat there and stared into the greens and sheets of rain, sipping on my magical potion. Everything seemed to fit in its place and I was happy!

FLAKE

Looks are everything. If not you’re living in a make-believe world.
Those eyes looked up at me confused and helpless. Everything was in my hand. But nothing seemed to go right. All morals and principles were blackened when I realized we are such hypocrites. Even though I could blindly follow mine, uncontrollable factors (people) influenced the fate of Flake.
Flake was what I wanted to call this tiny creature, innocent and dirty. Stronger than his brothers and sisters, Flake was so used to me in 3 hours. I felt like his guardian. I felt comfortable. He had to be given away for reasons that just boil down to--looks are everything.
I saw him leave, from my arms to another’s. I trusted the others as they weren’t strangers. But Flake was treated with medicines. Why can’t I keep him? Flake I want to visit you, but if I do, I might not be able to walk away, yet.

On J.K.Rowling

After I read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

At her mercy the world awaits for the last tale.The conclusion of her creation.I was stupefied by her decision.Unacceptable; whatever her reasons maybe.It seems to me the grand finale, would be even worse.How can she be so harsh to devoted followers of this new world she introduced.
The world is cruel.Then why does the old saying of good shall prosper over the evil still give us hope.This weakness is her power over us, keeping us hooked on feeling miserable, without a choice and waiting for more.

Is

(Inspired by my daily bus rides)

If life is so complicated and we know it
why don’t we stop and see?
If only things were so easy.
A smile, a trickle, a handshake,
outside my window, and I break.
Sights and sounds distract me.
Feel lost, easy, smooth.
Outside this window people are walking,
talking, laughing.
Inside this window I’m sitting, observing.
Mundane activities that they perform, and I
a silent observer enjoy the show.
Forgetting all that I had come with.
Healing through their innocence.
To watch and feel what they do
I feel once again its true.
You can cheat, you can win, you can mope
or you can smile.
In bliss, in chaos , in numbness.
Life is beautiful, and will always be.

Speak No More

Speak no more to me.
I'm quiet.Peace.Let this be.
Speak no more to me.
I'm tired.I'm shaken.
Speak no more to me.
You hurt me when you open your mouth.

Speak no more to me.
I'm listening.I'm hoping.I'm breaking.
Speak no more to me.
I'm untouched.I'm fine.I'm not.

Speak no more to me.
I'm trying.I'm smiling.
Speak no more to me.
I'm silent.I'm patient.
Speak no more.
I'm like this because of you.
Speak no more,or my rage
doesn't know how far it will go.

Strange but cool

Life is quite advanced and modern at Mount Carmel College, especially when you take up Communicative English! There is a lot of freedom of speech and thought; something I never expected from this college. Here I’ve got chances to be free with our lecturers yet respect them; it’s a mutual understanding. The faculty is simply wonderful! I may not be the type to always laugh and chat with them, but I respect almost all of them.
The coolest and strangest thing that I experienced last year was when my H.O.D, Mrs. Sahana Das, would message me (sometimes) and our class rep, saying classes were cancelled! I was so happy and proud of this informality that I’d show off to my family and friends, telling them my lecturer is so cool.
The reason I was so pleasantly shocked was because I’m so used to being formal with my teachers. At MCC I’ve learnt to balance!

Half truths are not lies....

Half truths are not lies.
Half lies are not truths.
Each type misleads you.
Each type hurts you.
Trust is what you had.
Faith is what you wanted.
Pain is what you got.
Deception is what you have.

Life is a game of risks.
Life has its turns and twists.
It’s all a vicious circle.
History will repeat itself.
Doing good didn’t do you any.
Doing bad disturbed your peace.
Doing things impulsively caused regrets.

Your mind is confused.
This phase has no name.
Lost in thought.
Glazed eyes and a cold heart.
Its not so cold as you want it to be.
It bled and now the drops are frozen.
Nothing is unexpected anymore.
Nothing is expected anymore.

Love is undefined.
Relationships change everyday.
It’s definition varies from people to people.
Secrets have a weird cause.
Why keep any when everyone’s in the same boat.
Why hide when nothing’s worth.
Touch reality and its gone.
Like a vapor truth keeps disappearing.
Perplexed you look around.

Half truths are not lies.
Half lies are not truths.

the_ego_has_landed