Life cannot be programmed

The other day when I was talking to a friend who was bothered about controlling things, I said something : "Life cannot be programmed."
I was surprised by my sudden profound statement, since I can be a control freak too!

But that line really hit me. It hit us both.

For eg: sometimes no matter how hard you try to get to a movie, you cant. You can go to 4 theatres on the same day, but if you are not meant to watch that movie that day, you wont. That's how things are... you probably can watch another movie, or hang out, but sometimes the forces are beyond your control.

Of course I dont mean that such issues as missing a desired movie is as important in life's scheme of things.
There are bigger issues, bigger decisions, that matter so much that you cant sleep at night. That keep you awake, because you are so busy planning what to say to this person, how to go about it etc... and then on that day, you discuss something totally different, things become weird, and out of your programme. Your mental picture, the scenario you created, and apprehended, are different and suddenly your expected to cope with the new situation.

I've been facing this and I realised that, if my goal is pure, if my reason is justified to me, if Im happy, then the new 'unapprehended'/'unprogrammed' situation cant be so bad! Because you dont need preparation for something you believe in,your voice and words carry conviction if you are truly convinced. Thus whatever the scenario is, the battle wont be so bad.

Whatever happens, whether you succeed or fail, you are content, because you did what you had to do. Even if it was for the that moment, period of time etc...

What you do can be right or wrong to others,but in the end, was it right to you when you actioned it? Thats all that counts, and gives you a peaceful sleep!

Decisions

There are times in your life when you have to look objectively at situations, even if its very very personal. Times when there is no right or wrong, but just action. Like the famous quote by Lord Krishna, “Action is its own fruit.” When you cant get caught up in emotions and relations…..to accomplish the selfish goal.

The past week has been crazy mentally and emotionally for me, due to decisions on personal goals. I’m probably still not out of them yet, and in some sense, will never be. But the whole stress and nightmarish sleep and wondering which fits well in my life, in my future, trying to predict the future, trying to analyse my strengths and weaknesses, trying not to show my weaknesses to people…. God! Its one thing after another…

So then I asked myself, if I’m ready for a change. Which is more important,in terms of my career, now or the future? Its like an investment. We never think of buying and selling property in a few months, unless you have several ;) We invest to get returns over a long period. And that’s what I thought,let me focus on later, not on now.

This rationale comes only later though… your first instinct is the one I believe in. You know the feeling in your stomach, the gut feeling, when you just know this thing is really bad for you, or really good for you. Its also the vibe you get from the new people and new place/ environment you enter… It really counts for me and the decisions I’ve made so far on that feeling have turned out to be just perfect and gorgeous!! :)

I feel content. Even if there are hiccups on the way, I’m pretty sure, this is going to be good for me in the long run.

No one is to blame. Its my decision and when my heart and head agree, no regrets :)

New life

So many changes.
Different faces.
New people.

A new phase.

I'm squashed, new info flowing in every second.

Freedom and liberty.
Discarding relationships, everyone is their first name.

Man I'm getting used to it!
My first job!