Friday, January 13, 2006


Reality bites.That is why we create pseudo-reality.
Sometimes we find solace in fiction and that itself becomes reality at that moment…for that instance…here becomes now…and that now belongs to you…in whichever form u like.
No one can take away your power to imagine, your power to feel or relive past glories. Its all in our capacity…so really..what is the truth?What is reality?

The trauma of being a victim of Schizophrenia wasnt the only message I received from the movie 15 Park Avenue that I saw on Wednesday. It got me thinking about reality.How people can become disillusioned.
My reality is no different from yours, hers or his…cause we all face the same situations at different points in our lives and find our escape routes into a place thats perfect, impeccable and untouchable. Pseudo-reality can become addictive and the movie kind of scared me because Im constantly imaging the what ifs.
According to the Oxford Dictionary – Schizophrenia: is a mental disorder marked by disconnection between thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Sounds familiar? Hahah…
The movie ends abruptly and I was a bit baffled…firstly its so sad and harsh to see someone disillusioned. You want to go and shake him/her and then probably shake yourself. I know its cliché to have happy endings but I wasnt prepared to settle for anything less after seeing the movie. But the ending was apt. The directors take was real/ unreal…whatever u please. The movie ends with the victim in her own world of imagination…and its so apt…cause thats her reality and you and I may not be in it..but we can understand it!

This whole issue of what is truth and what is real has been confronting me in diff forms. One was this movie and another was/ is the text Im reading for this sem. Its a play by Arthur Miller. “Death of a Salesman” is about a salesman who gets fired and somehow manages to make ends meet. But the salesman (Willy) constantly goes back to his past and relives it by conversing with imaginary people. He does it verbally and mumbles to himself…and ultimately commits suicide, because he considers himself as a failure.Ive left out a lot of details as those dont concern me (well they do for my paper..LOL). But my point is…he didnt accept his situation and kept reliving the past…he thought he was well-liked but no one attended his funeral.
Today in class my lecturer asked us – Would you accept that youre a fat middle-aged ugly lady or that youre attractive? hm…immediately I thought…Im fat and ugly...I mean thats what Id say if I do become like that…I mean who long as you can laugh,sing and dance!?? Life is too short for such petty things…but really will I able to accept my failures?

Heck Im accepting them today, why wont I 10 years from now? Maybe itll be hard, or harder…but I know I dont want to end up like willy nor do I want to be disillusioned.

Reality is here…in front of you…if you are in denial no one can save you except yourself.

Each moment felt like it was split in two. One regretting what was left behind and one excited about the future.
-Motorcyle Diaries

When I saw Motorcycle Diaries today, this line struck me. I may not have have quoted the exact words but thats the gist of it. Its true even I cling to the past. It comforts me…but theres a long way to go..and I just hope I dont escape reality too often.

I hope I escape it just enough to enjoy it! :)


Ramses-The Ego's Altered said...

AH! Ro, so very true! and apt! and wonderfully written!

have always had these escapes away from reality...and could so very identify with ur post!!!

am on my way to becoming schizophrenic[no jokes there]:) all said,it;s all a matter of how u balance the illusionary world, a pseudo real world as uve called it for urself and balance it out with the real:)..

and yep!Death of a salesman and the line from motorcycle diaries! how very apt:)

the_ego_has_landed said...

yeah rams...illusions and the difference? Food for

alive_n_confused said...

The movie ends with the victim's own imagination....that is sad and scary.

Ubiquitous said...

Oh wow Ro!

That was really insightful.

And I loved that dialogue too. It was so profound.

Sometimes, to get away from the mundane and monotonous real world, we create another world for ourselves and we escape to it whenever we want to.

Sometimes, this very 'other' world proves to be a dangerous one, cuz when we fail to draw the line b/w the two, we end up disappointed and depressed.


Check my post, ok? :p

exasparater said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
exasparater said...

nicely written dudette!!! u check another movie for Schizophrenia genre "a beautiful mind".... nice quotes... over all good post!!!



coolvir said...

I loved the movie too..
Was almost as good as Mr & Mrs Ayer.

Also your post started with "Reality Bites" which ahppened to be one of my all time favorite.So read your whole heavy post tryin to find somethin related to that movie :)

And Btw.... Liked your Poem too :)

the_ego_has_landed said...

~ubiquitous -thanks and well said...If i'm not mistaken I did comment on urs:)

~alive n confused-yeah it is...but that's the way it goes..i guess...

~exasparater- hey..I loved beautiful mind..and russell crowe has acted brilliantly in that film:) thanks!:)

~coolvir-hi..I didnt see Mr n Mrs Iyer..tho I wanted to...thanks for reminding!thanks for ur comment:)

Babushka said...

guess who's back? ;)
yeah, v true post.. loved the simplicity of it all...
makes me think too ( i think i spend a mojority of my time there...)
the quote from motorcycle diaries is real awesome. but i'd like to see it like this... if ur past's been fun, how can there be regrets? isn't there regret for today cuz u don't have your past? and if your past's been unpleasant, where's the regret anyway? aren't u happy to get past it all? somethin to think about...
strive for better.

Keshi said...

loved the last true!


rebel_on_loose said...

" hope I escape it just enough to enjoy it!"
Thts it...u got tht rite!
Gotta watch Motorcycle Diaries now...heard a lot abt it!

Ajay said...

yeah its true

SquirmsteR said...

Ego - this was an awesome post!! You really made me think with this one. Nicely written too, ego!! It really makes you wonder what is real....and what is real to others? Thanks for sharing Ego!!

the_ego_has_landed said...

~babs ..yeah u got me past may have been fun..n maybe things can go wrong..and thats when it becomes the past..that's when the pleasant memories seem to end badly and u label it past. So u hold on to what u knew initially..n move on. Sometimes when u think back u remember the good times and if u can forgive and forget u'll ignore the bad things of the I answered something of relevance lol!!

~keshi- thanks!
~ rebel- yeah man its awesome!:)

~ ajay n squirmy thanks for ur comments!!:)

Vikram H said...

well, u must always be able to let go of the past, although one doesnt have to forget everything! Its better to stay in the present moment and see reality as it is.

You must check out the movie Requiem for a Dream too.

the_ego_has_landed said...

~vikram- true...I 've heard about that try and get it..thanks!

Φ said...

hmm escaping reality, nice post. But its quite a frail word to use. If reality is defined as active state of ur mind and dreams are sub conscious state, then if we are devoid of senses reality doesn exist..meaning its jus a state associated by the mind. If its time dependent and we say present is reality, then past too was, future wud be. It negates on the same scale with time is it not?

Its man made, innate...I duno we some how fall back trying to define real, reality, surreal and ethereal... !!!

Somehow its all a dream or its all something else, microcosms are reflections of macrocosms, we are dust+water, so is universe..everything is connected and shares some platform..what if reality and unreality have something in common..

..*leaves stupefied*..

the_ego_has_landed said...

~phi ur right.. these definitions are man made...nothing is for sure..
Mysterious...yep I'm stupefied too...thanks for sharing!:)

SquirmsteR said...

You Moved!! I updated my page with your new address......hope that's cool

the_ego_has_landed said...

squirm! heheh..yeah..of course its cool:)

rebel_on_loose said...

Hey Ego...finally got 2 watch Motorcycle Diaries this weekend!
Since i'm already into biking...i liked it even more!