Friday, January 13, 2006
Reality bites.That is why we create pseudo-reality.
Sometimes we find solace in fiction and that itself becomes reality at that moment…for that instance…here becomes now…and that now belongs to you…in whichever form u like.
No one can take away your power to imagine, your power to feel or relive past glories. Its all in our capacity…so really..what is the truth?What is reality?
The trauma of being a victim of Schizophrenia wasnt the only message I received from the movie 15 Park Avenue that I saw on Wednesday. It got me thinking about reality.How people can become disillusioned.
My reality is no different from yours, hers or his…cause we all face the same situations at different points in our lives and find our escape routes into a place thats perfect, impeccable and untouchable. Pseudo-reality can become addictive and the movie kind of scared me because Im constantly imaging the what ifs.
According to the Oxford Dictionary – Schizophrenia: is a mental disorder marked by disconnection between thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Sounds familiar? Hahah…
The movie ends abruptly and I was a bit baffled…firstly its so sad and harsh to see someone disillusioned. You want to go and shake him/her and then probably shake yourself. I know its cliché to have happy endings but I wasnt prepared to settle for anything less after seeing the movie. But the ending was apt. The directors take was real/ unreal…whatever u please. The movie ends with the victim in her own world of imagination…and its so apt…cause thats her reality and you and I may not be in it..but we can understand it!
This whole issue of what is truth and what is real has been confronting me in diff forms. One was this movie and another was/ is the text Im reading for this sem. Its a play by Arthur Miller. “Death of a Salesman” is about a salesman who gets fired and somehow manages to make ends meet. But the salesman (Willy) constantly goes back to his past and relives it by conversing with imaginary people. He does it verbally and mumbles to himself…and ultimately commits suicide, because he considers himself as a failure.Ive left out a lot of details as those dont concern me (well they do for my paper..LOL). But my point is…he didnt accept his situation and kept reliving the past…he thought he was well-liked but no one attended his funeral.
Today in class my lecturer asked us – Would you accept that youre a fat middle-aged ugly lady or that youre attractive? hm…immediately I thought…Im fat and ugly...I mean thats what Id say if I do become like that…I mean who cares..as long as you can laugh,sing and dance!?? Life is too short for such petty things…but really will I able to accept my failures?
Heck Im accepting them today, why wont I 10 years from now? Maybe itll be hard, or harder…but I know I dont want to end up like willy nor do I want to be disillusioned.
Reality is here…in front of you…if you are in denial no one can save you except yourself.
Each moment felt like it was split in two. One regretting what was left behind and one excited about the future.
When I saw Motorcycle Diaries today, this line struck me. I may not have have quoted the exact words but thats the gist of it. Its true even I cling to the past. It comforts me…but theres a long way to go..and I just hope I dont escape reality too often.
I hope I escape it just enough to enjoy it! :)